Our Walk By Faith

Shopping = numbing myself to God's heart

2010-09-22T13:57:00.009-04:00

Okay, I have many things swimming in my head right now, and just had to get them on paper, er, computer screen. Yeah, I pretty much put this blog to bed, but I felt like pounding some things out here anyway.

Brief, brief, brief update: L'll B has her first day of preschool today, thus, the opportunity to be at the computer uninterrupted. Since we brought her home last November, things have been amazing, awful, hopeful, despairing, chaotic, hilarious, full of self-sacrifice, full of self-absorption. And lessons from the Lord.

Today, one lesson hit home. For the past several weeks I have felt God teaching us more about His heart. He is ALL about teaching us how to live so we bring life into this world. To live lives that point people to Jesus. To be SERVANTS. I have been hit with Isaiah 58:6-12 many times in the past few weeks. God wants me to GET this. The fasting that passage talks about is fasting from ME, from my own self-absorption. So I can reach out to others. OTHERS. My healing, my wholeness can only truly come when I pour myself into others. And not just others in my home. I can often use my family as an excuse. Hey, we are a large family, a lot on our plate, blah, blah, blah. We are exempt from serving outside of our family. What????? LIES, lies, lies to feed my self-absorption.

So, anyways, I have been praying that God give me His passion, to really care about the hurting, the poor, the oppressed. And I sense this passion flaring up in me. Right now I can best describe it as a passion for JUSTICE in this world. But I have to know what to do with it. I am impatient and it is hard to wait on God, but what else can I do?

David Platt's book, Radical, is currently one of the catalysts to all the thoughts swimming in my head. CHALLENGING. Challenging us to look closely at what we believe, what we follow. Are we really following Jesus, the Jesus of Scripture, who calls us to live radically, to live to pursue bringing glory to God and justice in this world. To be missional. ALL OF US. All...of...us. All of us - not just the few who are "called" to missions. Or are we following the "American" Jesus, taking all the good stuff we like about Jesus, and holding tightly to that while dismissing some of the more startling, difficult truths Jesus taught and lived? Ouch!

So what about shopping?

Today, as I was processing some of these thoughts and praying about what God is preparing us for, I decided to go shopping. First day without L'l B, a great chance to shop alone. But I found that shopping can work in me to be a sort of instant gratification that temporarily fills my longings, the passion God is brewing in me. I went shopping, and I DON'T NEED ANYTHING. How many of us in America really do? Sure, I like to "update" my wardrobe, but I am not walking around shirtless or anything. Hey, I went to thrift stores and found some cheap stuff, so it wasn't a money issue. But it was just a lesson to me that as God wants us to GET what He cares about, to follow Him down roads He knows are best for us, I can get SO sidetracked. I can become numb to the voice SO EASILY. Something as ridiculous as shopping can work its magic (evil) to dull my senses toward God. I want to fight for God, be one of His warriors, not fight for the best bargain. I want to feel joy from pouring out the overflow of what Jesus has poured in me, NOT the fleeting happiness that comes from the perfect pair of jeans.

our story

2009-12-13T22:54:00.007-05:00

I was asked to write down our story for an adoption fundraiser. One great catch was that this person requested I get it back to her in a day. That gave me the freedom to just write down my thoughts in an hour, and not scrutinize over each paragraph, word choice, stuff like that. It is not a work of art. But it is our story, our adoption story. Well, since it is done, I thought I would share it here, too.

Our Story

We were not a couple who “always thought” we would adopt some day. Honestly, I am not a huge baby person. We had our 3 biological kids, and I was crazy about them, but still never felt we needed to adopt. Then in 2003, God placed it on my heart to foster a boy for a summer, who was from the Saharawi refugee camp in Algeria, Africa. Thankfully, Farmboy agreed to this. He was most likely thinking --- how much could it hurt? It is for ONLY two months...... That was the beginning of our family starting to step out in faith. We began to experience the huge blessing and growth in faith as we kept going the next steps. The boy we brought into our home was named Mohamed, an 11 yr old Muslim boy. This experience was extremely difficult at times, but we were also hugely blessed by knowing this boy and opening our hearts to him. We had the opportunity to have this boy in our home periodically for the next 3 years. He eventually lived with us full-time as he pursued an education in the US. Then, although we planned to have Mohamed live with us for many more years, God planned for him to return to Algeria in August 2006. God taught us many, many things during that experience. Most significantly, he taught us that life is not all about the pursuit of comfort and pleasure. True fulfillment will never come from those pursuits, but from giving of ourselves for Him. Another life-changing thing this experience taught us is that we could love a child that was not biologically ours. Hmmmm, wonder how that will matter in the future.....

With Mohamed no longer with us, one evening in December 2006, my husband and I were out to dinner and he just plopped this question on the table – “So are we going to adopt or what?” That question just sat there, and we actually turned it over and over. This was definitely some sort of thought God had planted. February 2007, we then looked into our state’s foster to adopt program. We left that first meeting a bit confused, as we both thought we would adopt domestically, but after the meeting, both felt inclined to pursue international adoption instead. My first desire was to adopt from somewhere in Africa, as a way to somehow be a part of Mohamed’s people, his land, but I didn’t reveal this desire to my husband. As we researched our options, however, then he and I both came to the decision together to pursue adopting from Ethiopia. We also were not sure what gender to adopt. We had 3 children, an 11 yr old boy, a 9 yr old girl and a 7 yr old boy. My daughter desperately wanted a sister, but I couldn’t shake my desire for another boy. My husband threw out the idea to adopt one of each, and it sounded like a good one. And as I said, we are not baby people, so we decided on a boy/girl sibling set ages 3-7 years. Then, on February 27, 2008, we got referred our 4.5 year old twins. Their birth mother was sick and could no longer care for them. They also had a one year old sister at home, but the birth mother was not relinquishing her. TWINS!!! I had prayed the desire of my heart many times to the Lord, and prayed for twins, but also prayed for God’s best choice for our family. What a blessing, what a kind God.

We got the twins on April 14, 2008. Then, bringing them back home, we started the massive adjusting. They were very ready for a mom and dad, and also connected so well with our bio kids. But this was still a very exhausting, stressful, difficult time. I knew this was God’s best for us, and was trusting for his strength daily, but I must admit it was hard. I had to die to myself daily, to my selfish desires to just go out and do the coffee thing, or the shopping thing that most of my other friends were doing, as their kids were all school age, like my bio kids, and were finally getting some free time.

Four months after bringing the kids home, on August 14, 2008, we got a call from our agency that the twin’s mother had died, and their little sister was now an orphan. Would we consider adopting her? This was the HARDEST decision we have ever had to make. I was still hugely in the throes of adjusting to the twins, not feeling settled at all yet. Their little sister was less than 2 years old (remember, we ARE NOT baby people), the financial burden of adopting again, and parenting yet another child was also daunting. Farmboy and I prayed and sought the Lord through the Word continually. Honestly, we prayed that God would give us a firm NO. We did not want to do this, but did not feel at peace saying no unless this was from God. Finally after 4 weeks of seeking the Lord, we felt our hearts slowly change and we were miraculously ready to go forward with the adoption. We were planning on calling our agency the next day. Our agency, however, called us first to inform us of the difficult news that tests were just back and it was determined that their little sister was HIV +. Our first thought was, is this a closed door? Is this the “NO” we were praying for? So we prayed some more, both feeling really confused about what God was calling us to do. Then one day, after the kids all left for school, I just started to sob. I begged God for his guidance and advice. He seemed so silent. I then emailed our agency, informing our case worker that we were not going to pursue the adoption. I thought this would give me some peace, that since I had finally made a decision, we could move on. No peace came. That afternoon, as I paced around the house, I felt the only thing left to do was read the Bible. Maybe that would help me, calm me. I opened up to where I last left off. I read 2 Corinthians 8:10-12.

"And here is my advice about what is best for you in this matter: Last year you were the first not only to give but also to have the desire to do so. Now finish the work, so that your eager willingness to do it may be matched by your completion of it, according to your means. For if the willingness is there, the gift is acceptable according to what one has, not according to what he does not have."

These words pierced my heart, and I sensed a flicker of peace begin to grow, as I finally felt like I knew what God was asking us to do. I asked Farmboy to read that passage that evening, not at all wanting to persuade him. After he read it, he basically said, “Well, let’s go.” From then on, we were able to embrace this adoption as something God wanted us to do. I have learned that if God is orchestrating it, He will provide what is needed for every step, and that there is blessing throughout the journey.

I certainly hoped that the paperchase and other adoption hurdles to jump for this next adoption would be relatively easy. But this was not to be. Once we started working on completing this adoption, there were obstacles and delays around nearly every corner. We initially thought we would bring our daughter home in 2008, maybe by Christmas that year. Instead, I finally got her Nov. 1, 2009. But, again, God is so wise. This was the best time to get her. As an example of his perfect timing, she turned 3 on Oct. 13, 2009, and with us not being baby people, this felt like God showing us his sense of humor. He asked us to adopt her when she was only 1 year and 10 months, but he KNEW she was not coming into our family until she was 3 years old. He knew we aren’t baby people. He is so good.

Since home, the adjusting has gone so much better than initially with the twins. Maybe it is because this isn’t our first adoption. Maybe it is because she is younger. Maybe it is because she is HIV+, and there is a part of me that feels more protective, nurturing because I know she is more vulnerable. Maybe it is because we only adopted one child this time. No, I believe this is just God’s blessing on me. I believe He is just being the awesome, personal, kind God He is. Praise Him!!!

I ran across this quote recently and it totally resonates with me:

There is your plan for your life and God’s plan for your life, and yours doesn’t really count.

That tiny little quote oozes truth. But it is not something to fear. Not at all. We just need to understand that God’s plans truly are best, and that He does love us deeply. Enough to die for us. How can we not trust Him?

As I rock her to sleep for her naps, I have this welling up in my heart of love for her, and this deep knowledge that she was meant to be a part of our family from the very beginning. God had all three of these children planned for our family, and in His way, in His timing, He brought them to us and we all are blessed.

Living life with no regrets

2009-12-06T23:28:00.002-05:00

My sister is currently being treated for breast cancer. She was diagnosed this past August. My mother was just told this week that the results of her mammogram indicate there was something suspicious in one of her lymph nodes. She will need to have a biopsy. Hopefully, prayerfully, this is NOT cancer. But it certainly gets you thinking....

Life is short, shockingly short sometimes.

With the life God is giving me, am I LIVING for Him, or just living? Am I playing it safe? Or am I taking hold of the opportunities He puts before me. I know there are many times that I miss the opportunities, that I just maybe ignore them because they seem difficult, inconvenient, possibly even a little ridiculous. I also know there have been times that we have grasped those opportunities, even the questionably "crazy" ones, and once we got a hold of them, we ARE richly blessed. So why don't we take a hold of those opportunities EVERY time??? It is that struggle again, my plans, my timing, my life. And God's plans, His timing. It is always inconvenient, always costly, always something I just don't initially want to do. But every time, it is also BLESSED. I hope I can remember that.

I so want to live a life that pleases God and a life that is full of good fruit, not regrets. So I was walking the dog yesterday. Seriously, if you don't have a dog, get one --- and walk it, it gives you a chunk of time to commune with God, to sometimes argue, to question, but to ultimately throw your concerns at Him, and let...them...go. Anyways, during the walk, I was thinking about my mom and sister and praying for their healing, for their lives. Then I thought about my own life. Again, I prayed for His strength to live my life, however long or short, prepared to grab the opportunities He puts before me, trusting Him. Then I believe there are truly no regrets.

2009-11-29T15:17:00.009-05:00

Happy Thanksgiving Weekend!

Soooooo thankful to all be together......FINALLY.

Our Li'l B was terrified of our dog at first, look what 3 weeks home can do.

And Li'l B slept in our room the first couple of weeks, but the past week the nights have looked something like this. Awwww.

This year, Thanksgiving was shared with Farmboy's side of the family. Thanks to all the contributors, but especially Heidi and Chris, the food was fabulous and we all probably added a little thickness around the middle.....you know, just in time for the holidays.

The boys watching our Lions get crushed. Go Lions ?!?

Part of the family getting ready for the big dinner.....and snacking on the pre-dinner appetizers that make you full even before dinner starts. Why do we do that?

Heidi had some 3 year old crafts that the 14 yr old and 12 yr old enjoyed playing with. Wow, Claire, nice coloring. Maybe your mom will put that one on the fridge???

Another tradition -- cut down the tree. Li'l B was probably wondering why in the world we were doing this, and why in the world is it SO cold. Oh, dear, it just gets COLDER.

The family.....the trick to a decent shot "spur of the moment" style-- do a black and white shot, that way you can't tell how awfully we clash.

The Trip

2009-11-16T06:57:00.009-05:00

People have been asking how our trip went, and I realized the blog world may like to hear, too, so here goes. And even if you aren't interested, well, it's my blog, so I guess I get to do what I want anyway.

Friday and Saturday

First of all, we were able to stop in Cairo, Egypt for 2 days before the "adoption trip". Highly recommend!!!!! Also, you may want to know that if you fly Ethiopian Airlines, the trip to Cairo is basically FREE. You only pay some minimal taxes, surcharges, maybe adding less than 100 bucks to the cost of the fare from Dulles to Addis Ababa. So, financially, very feasible. Also, I was very fortunate to have a friend who currently resides in Cairo, and she played tour guide the whole time we were there. Her apartment overlooks the Nile, with a view of the pyramids in the distance, so it is quite breathtaking. We crammed in as much as humanly possible in the 48 hours we saw this land. Yes, the trip was short, but since we may never return, I believe we took complete advantage of our time and enjoyed some wonderful experiences. And the food.....absolutely delicious. Honestly, Ethiopian food has some spices that are unfamiliar to my palate, so I eat rather sparingly in Ethiopia. But in Egypt, I enjoyed EVERYTHING!

A bit surprising to me, and another wonderful blessing, I was totally able to enjoy this jaunt out of the way before we embarked on the adoption trip. I was excited to meet Li'l B in a few days, but wasn't consumed with the thought, and was able to be fully present for our Egypt adventure. My dear friend Laura accompanied me on this part of the trip and when you get two old friends together, there is bound to be a wonderful time, with laughs, giddiness, silliness and just great fun. Oh, and little sleep, that may be a reason why there was so much giddiness.

This shot was taken from our balcony, the Nile before us, and the pyramids in the mist in the distance. Stunning.

Ouch, this poor guy needs a nose job.

Sunday

Next stop, Addis Ababa.

We arrived in Addis on a Sunday morning, after traveling through the night from Cairo. Travis from Gladney was there, as was Solomon, our same driver as last time. So nice to see familiar faces! Travis dropped us off at the Ayat house, the same guest house as last time, too. Again, nice to see familiar, friendly faces, as we are welcomed back by Waguyu and Zimmett. I wasn't sure what my plan would be, but once in-country I wanted to meet Li'l B ASAP. Travis was completely willing to work with all my requests. We were not planning on following the typical Gladney schedule, as I had a year to think about what I wanted to see. Travis/Gladney were incredibly accommodating and flexible. So, we head off to meet my daughter, and the first meeting was.....well.....it was quite comfortable. Not mind-blowing, not amazingly stressful, actually relatively calm. I came armed with bubbles and she was fascinated. This gave me time to hold her and introduce myself. Then we walked around and through the home, and THAT WAS IT. Laura and I then went back to the guest house where we crashed for about 5 hours. That got my head the rest it desperately needed.

Later, Sunday night, my friend Maggie flies in to Ethiopia, as she is joining us on the rest of the trip.

Monday

Today we were scheduled to drive out to my children's village in Bantu, about 60 miles, yet 2.5 hours, away. This was INCREDIBLE. We stopped along the way to pick up their great-aunt, who has been instrumental in advocating for all three of our children. SO grateful for this woman. Then, on the long car ride, I was able to ask great-aunt tons of questions, to help understand my children's stories before they were ours. So many little nuggets! We then met extended family in Bantu, and saw the house my children lived in prior to coming to Gladney. Family treated us to lunch and again, we were given more information about our children's life prior to us. I brought many pictures, but could have brought hundreds more. They were like gold. So, for those of you with opportunities to bring pictures, bring MANY. It still won't be enough.

The extended family outside the house our kids lived in for a time.

The river that the twins brought their animals to for water.

Monday night I walk to the foster home, this time armed with a balloon. Li'l B warms up a tad more and we punch the balloon around.

Tuesday

Today we drove down to Asala, about a 3 hour drive south of Addis. We were able to meet the birth family of Maggie's adopted daughters and see where they grew up. Priceless!!! This is a beautiful, lush part of Ethiopia, with green, rolling hills, and a backdrop of stunning mountains. Lots of herds, too, cows, cows, more cows, goats, sheep, even one herd of camels. We also saw a family of monkeys hanging around a group of trees.

Tuesday night visit Li'l B again, with a ball in hand. She is becoming more playful as we rolled and threw the ball and she high-fived me a few times.

Wednesday

Wednesday we slept in, recovering from our first 2 travel days. Later, Belay gave us a personal tour of the 4 foster homes. Man, he LOVES these kids!!! Again, I got to spend some time with Li'l B, this time bringing a book to read. We wrapped up the afternoon by shopping for much of it. I am NOT a shopper, but thoroughly enjoy it when traveling. Hey, we were just spurring on their economy. In the evening, went to dinner with Gladney staff, which was a blast.

Thursday

Pack up in the morning, then walk to the foster home after lunch to GET Li'l B. We say our goodbyes, take tons more pictures, then I just walk her out of there to the guest house. And that is that. Seemed anticlimactic, yet peaceful.

Once at the guest house, she warmed up in about 10 minutes. She was playful the rest of the day, and basically a dream on the flight home.

Enjoying coffee with Waguyu and Zimmett.

Remember the 4 B's -- bubbles, books, balls and balloons. Super easy to pack and definitely crowd pleasers.

I totally want to stress the WONDERFUL time I had on this trip. My friend and I each got custody of our children almost immediately for our first adoptions, but we both believed doing it this way, visiting her at the foster home, yet not taking custody until the end of the trip, was massively less stressful for us all. I had the privilege to experience things I would not have been able to, had I had our little one in tow, and she was able to stay in the comfort of what was familiar while she learned to warm up to me.

Friday

HOME!!!

Our first family photo.....at the airport.

One Week

2009-11-12T08:29:00.003-05:00

Things are going surprisingly well. I am feeling emotionally strong, although I am exhausted by about 9pm every night. For this night owl, that is definitely not the norm. Li'l B is happy, talkative (we have no clue what she is saying, though) and sleeping very well. Oh, and potty-trained, too.

Looking around the dining room table at all my kids.......God is so good.

This has been a blessed first week.

SISTERS

All together

2009-11-07T09:43:00.005-05:00

Yesterday we returned HOME.

Our little one slept from 10pm to 8:30am.

Major blessing!!!!!

Now we just have to keep the other 5 kids from smothering her.

So thankful to finally be together.

In country, we were able to go to our children's village and meet with extended family members. Amazing! We got to see the church where our kids were baptized and the river that the twins brought their animals to for water. We got to hear the story of how their great-aunt was so instrumental in saving our little one's life. What a wonderful woman!

Oh, and we didn't take Li'l B to the guest house with us until the last day in-country. This was the perfect decision for us. I visited her every day, bringing a toy or two to play with and bond. We finally brought her to the guest house the day we were leaving, and she warmed up in about 10 minutes. Incredible, really. This gave us a chance to see much more of Ethiopia and really enjoy the experience.

She was a super traveler. My friend Laura is in this shot, too.

Home with her siblings.....

Buttercup meets Tater

2009-11-01T18:02:00.005-05:00

Buttercup has arrived in Addis and settled in at the Ayat house. We had a brief conversation over the phone this afternoon. In case any of you did not know Buttercup is not taking custody of Lil' B until later in the trip. She hopes to do much more traveling in country this time and the newer regulations, since our first trip, don't allow traveling about with the kids.

I honestly think we're happier this way anyway as we've heard of other agencies that ease you in with your kids over a series of meetings rather than taking them right away. She and Tater had "meeting #1" Sunday afternoon. Travis of the in country staff asked Tater if she wanted to go to America... her answer - um, no. I cannot fathom what is going on in her little head. What a life thus far for this precious little one.

Buttercup spent a short hour with her and eased into the connection with some bubbles & games. She had the opportunity to hold her and said it was a very successful first meeting... one last thing that got passed on... oh, and she has "good hair"... yes!

Tomorrow they hope to head off to the village where the 3 kids grew up in. This is honestly the part of the trip I am most jealous of. I am so hopeful we can get some pictures to help piece together more of their heritage. If we can get some pictures of their homes and surroundings and hopefully even some extended family how awesome would that be?

The days ahead should allow for a few more short meetings with Lil'B then taking her back to Ayat on Wednesday.

A few have inquired how I am doing here. Some say your head may swell very slightly when there is lots of stress. Others say in the rarest most concerning cases the opposite effect of a shrinking head may occur... well here's a picture of me with a few of the kids.

Actually, all is well back here at home... we're ready & waiting!

31 plane ride hours later.....

2009-10-30T09:51:00.002-04:00

First stop, Cairo.

This place is amazing and my friend Wendy, our host, has been fantastic. You can see the Nile from her balcony, and the pyramids in the distance.

Tomorrow night we leave for Ethiopia!

Laura, Wendy and I at the pyramids.

2009-10-27T22:33:00.003-04:00

Well, I think we are ready to go. Bags have been packed and weighed, Farmboy's hair has been cut (so he doesn't look too grizzly when I return), lists have been made for the family to maybe follow while I am gone.

Tomorrow morning, my dear friend Laura and I leave, first stopping in Egypt to visit a friend there for a couple days, and then on to Ethiopia and Li'l B. Sunday, Nov. 1, we will meet her for the first time. Kinda surreal, but it IS real.

Here's hoping to a decent night's sleep (not really counting on that one).

2009-10-18T20:53:00.003-04:00

Tickets are bought.
Bags are starting to get packed.
We are getting our little girl!!!

October 28th

Happy Birthday!!!

2009-10-13T00:42:00.003-04:00

Our baby turned 3 today. Happy Birthday, Li'l B!!!

God has such a great sense of humor. I have to honestly admit Farmboy and I were looking upon adopting a 2 yr old with a hint of trepidation. Seriously, when we first learned of our little dear, we had to double check with our case worker about the age, hoping we were mistaken, and she was actually almost 3, rather than almost 2 at the time. I know, I know, lots of people LOVE that age. The younger the better, stuff like that. Uh, not so much for us. We are so much more drawn to a bit older, just connect so much more easily to older children. Hey, with our first adoption, we specifically requested age 3 or older. But, we KNEW she was to be a part of our family and trusted that God would help us parent our little 2 yr old. Hmmmm, is that why God made this whole thing take so dang long? Yes, I am being a bit trite. There has been a massive amount of aching and longing for her as we waited and waited....and SHE HAD TO LIVE OVER A YEAR WITHOUT HER PARENTS. Heartbreaking. But, I also see a glimpse of His best. Of course, yet again, God knew what He was doing all along.

Well, sweetie, happy 3rd birthday!

miles closer

2009-10-10T13:36:00.002-04:00

Next step -- our approved I-600 is now at the US embassy in Ethiopia, according to my Gladney case worker. Hopefully Monday our HIV waiver will be submitted, and 6-10 business days later it should be approved. Then we book travel....

Approved!

2009-10-02T15:32:00.004-04:00

I'm stunned.

Inch by inch....and then hundreds of miles in one moment.

We just got notification our I-600 is approved. 5 days! It got approved in 5 days.

Not quite sure the rest of the paper trail, to the National Visa Center, to the embassy, getting the HIV waiver approved....but I think this means ONE WEEK of travel.

When? Still unsure, but we are getting so close!

love.this.quote.

2009-09-28T22:10:00.003-04:00

There is your plan for your life,
and God’s plan for your life,
and your plan doesn’t really count.

Found this on another blog.
LOVE it.
Hey, it even made it on my pantry door.

Twists and Turns

2009-09-19T20:07:00.005-04:00

So yesterday we were on the phone with Gladney, as they are working hard to get some documents needed to process the I-600 immigration form in the States. We know time is getting short, but if we can get this form processed here, instead of how typically done in Ethiopia, we could have Gladney file our HIV waiver for us, instead of my filing it while in Ethiopia and waiting 2+ weeks for it to be approved, shortening my travel from 3+ weeks to only one week. This would be a HUGE blessing!

So I plan to contact my state representative, knowing I will need him to advocate for us so that USCIS can turn around the I-600 approval in about 5 weeks, instead of their typical 3-6 months.

Then late last night, our HIV advocacy group contacted me to let me know that as of yesterday, now the waiting on the TB test results for our little one is no longer required. So....once the embassy panel doctors sign off on her case, we can travel! So that could mean in a week, a couple weeks. Not...quite...sure, but SOONER. So we are still REALLY hoping to get the I-600 approved here in the States, but instead of a 5 week turn around, now we are talking about a 2 week turn around. Sounds impossible. Maybe it is. For the past year, I have been preparing myself for the longer trip, but in the past 2 weeks, with the possibility of shortening it significantly, I was feeling so much hopefulness about the possibility.

Some don't quite understand, thinking a nice long trip would be a wonderful way to see our children's birth country. And I totally agree --- when you are NOT adopting. The adoption trip is altogether different. Not a sight-seeing trip, but immensely emotional. Our sweet one will most likely be terrified of me at first, and I will just WANT TO GET HER HOME, start our family, start adjusting, settling in. That is virtually impossible while in Ethiopia, and without my sweet Farmboy, as he will be home with our 5 other kiddos.

Anyways, so again I am made profoundly aware how I have NO control in this adoption process. So we pray, do what we can, and see how God handles the rest.

Oh, and isn't she darling? She weighs more than Kume did when we adopted her, and Kume was 1.5 years older. Love the chub!

Aug 14, 2008 - Aug 14, 2009

2009-08-15T01:04:00.010-04:00

We got the call about our little sweetie on August 14, 2008. Yes, we were initially stunned (read here if you'd like), but now are excited (slight understatement) and grasping on to the truth that God has given us this privilege and responsibility to parent another of His children.

First glimpse EVER of our little girl....

Just got this picture from Natalie yesterday, Aug. 14, 2009....

Just a a little while longer, sweetie (end of October, hopefully)!

Why we aren't packing yet....

2009-08-02T13:30:00.007-04:00

Many have asked when we are traveling. Bummer, but not yet. Many have heard about the new TB requirements, and our little one falls into that quagmire of more nonsensical waiting. Two main reasons:

1) She is not recognized as a US citizen at adoption.
2) She is HIV+, therefore required to do the TB sputum testing, even though for her health it would be FAR better for her to get out of a country where the risk of contracting TB while she waits is far more likely then that she would pose ANY risk in the States.

Here is a link to a great blog of one of the founders of Project HOPEFUL. This woman advocates for adoptive families of HIV+ children. On this link, she discusses the FACE act, a bill which Congress is currently considering. It makes COMPLETE sense. Please read it.

So, we wait patiently, hoping to travel in 10-12 weeks.

IT'S A GIRL!

2009-07-30T13:17:00.006-04:00

Here's a story, of a lovely lady... (key Brady Bunch Theme song)

YES WE PASSED!

My sweet Buttercup is camping this week and away from our computer.
I get to break the news that we PASSED court.

Yeehaw!

I'm sure she will want to spill her emotions upon her return.

Until then, here's a few more pic's of our sweet new addition

Thanks for all of you who were praying for our family during this time!

Farmboy Brady

JULY 30 - let's try this again

2009-07-15T00:15:00.006-04:00

As expected, court was not successful today. We are now scheduled for July 30. One kinda cool bit of news. The courts have postponed their shut down until August 21 to accommodate adopting families and some of the delays that have arisen due to an unexpected government agency closure.

No matter what, God is the one true God, there is no other God but Him. It is said over and over in Scriptures and tonight during my walk I sensed Him reminding me of this awesome truth. And He dazzles. The sky this evening, the stars, the trees, the light, the darkness displaying His glory. Stunning. Okay, if He can handle creation, He can handle this.

I think He wanted me to share.

Court Delay

2009-07-11T22:20:00.003-04:00

So I guess this is the best way to hear news. Sitting on the beach on vacation with dear, old friends (well, hey, we aren't OLD, but I mean friends we have had a long time -- you know, since college, some since elementary school, so for 20 to 35 years, hmmmm, I guess that does sound old). Anyways, sweet Natalie calls.

There is an Ethiopian governmental agency that must make an opinion for our case before the court will make a ruling. This agency just closed for 2 weeks, starting last Wednesday (nothing like NO notice), to do a training of sorts, and will reopen July 23. Oh, if they had just waited a...few...more...days. Honestly, why not wait until the court closure for the rainy season? Certainly makes sense to me. And....you would think they would put us at the top of the list of cases needing opinions, but it just doesn't work that way. Natalie is hoping we get a new court date before the court closures. We will see. NOTHING has gone smoothly this go 'round, so I am guarding my heart again.

God allows hardships to those He loves, and promises to help us develop a more Christ-like character as we walk through the hardships. We are awed that He loves us like that and are trying to persevere during this current ache. Isn't there a verse out there saying something outlandish like, "rejoice always" and "in everything, give thanks." Another walk by faith.

adoptive families camping trip

2009-07-01T22:50:00.006-04:00

We just returned from a camping weekend with several families who have adopted or are in process of adopting kids from Ethiopia. What a blast. Fifteen families camped, and about 15-20 other families came for an all-day picnic/beach day on Saturday. This group has been a huge and unexpected blessing to us. We have met some wonderful families, many of which I am now regularly in a prayer group with, and do the occasional playdate thing with a few others. We humans are so relational and crave connectedness. I believe that Farmboy and I connect with these families in a deep way because we understand each other without exhausting ourselves and others trying to explain our lives. The attachment, the struggles, the questions, the joys, the passion, the frustration, the fears, the hope -- we connect.

Oh, a sweet moment -- a woman pulled me aside and thanked me for our encouraging blog. They are in the process of adopting an HIV+ child, and were encouraged by some of my words. Hey, I am thrilled if these words do more than just fill a computer screen. This family has not told their family or friends about their decision yet and I hopefully had a chance to encourage her some more that day.

One family in particular my kids adored -- all of them. This family has 6 kids, 2 of them being twin 4 yr old girls recently adopted from Ethiopia. On the way home, each of my kids had paired themselves up for marriage with the kids from this family. Li'l B has no idea what she is in for....

The family minus Farmboy, our photographer. And, yeah, we still have the dog. Anyone want a Beagle?

A glimpse of a few of the families at the gathering.

Kume and one of the twins getting more connected.

Kume and a twin goofing around, maybe....or wrestling vehemently for a place in the jumprope line.

The jumprope line has disintegrated....now it's 4 at a time. Yup, all of the 14 pictures we took were blurry, so this is all you get.

One of the "pairs" working on a creation. Hey, I would be thrilled SOME day.

Finally....

2009-06-19T13:27:00.003-04:00

Our court date is scheduled for July 14. We are praying.

God's timing IS perfect

2009-06-17T14:43:00.004-04:00

So I am in the middle of the latest Beth Moore bible study on the book of Esther. Again, God's timing is impeccable for this Buttercup.

As I look back, I see God's perfect timing throughout many chapters in our lives. Most recently, Jambo and Kume came home at the absolutely best time for our family. Over and over I have seen the perfectness of His plan. Of course, there are those that I still don't understand, and on this side of eternity, I may never. That is where faith comes in, and I throw my confusion back at God. He always catches it well, handles it perfectly and never drops it. Once thrown back to Him, He grows His indescribable peace in me.

As we wait on Li'l B, wait for her to be HOME, here are some gifts God has given to me in His perfect timing. These are all excerpts from the Esther study. (Hope that is credit enough. This Buttercup has done tons of research throughout college and grad school, so properly noting resources has been exhaustively drilled into me).

"He never takes His eyes off of us or off the clock ticking over us."

even when it totally doesn't feel like it....

"When all is said and done, Satan can't win and God with you can't lose."

I SO needed to hear that.

"Sometimes we fear that fighting for what is right will kill us. Then again, it occurs to us that to stand by and do nothing out of self-preservation is to be dead already."

Oh, we were so fearful at first to bring an HIV+ child into our home, but God clearly revealed to us our fear was out of our desire to preserve our safe, little lives. He is completely not about that! He is about LIVING.

"Every giant-sized weight drops into our laps right on schedule. None of our purposes will be fulfilled easily. All of them will require the most difficult decisions we think we can make. Decisions that we may feel will practically kill us. Then God does something miraculous and we become something we're not."

Again, that was EXACTLY where we were when contemplating adopting Li'l B. It certainly wasn't on OUR schedule, and I don't have the words to describe just how massively difficult the decision making time was. But I so believe we have become something different as we have stepped out in faith. More eternally focused....and excited to parent Li'l B, the girl, not Li'l B, the HIV+ child.

"In times of greatest struggle when you make the Godward decision over convenience, earthly comfort, or carnal pleasure, you too have come to a critical moment in the fulfillment of your destiny. A defining moment."

Fulfilling our destiny....oh, it is humbling and exhilarating.

Lastly, "She must step into the unknown known and into the hiddenness completely unhidden. Fully exposed, only a providential force could protect her now."

Yes, us too. This is our destiny, and we are not continuing to walk this journey hidden. In the HIV/AIDS world, in the developing world, life or death is the issue. In America, with amazing meds, disclosure is possibly the biggest issue. God has nudged us to not remain hidden, but to be exposed, to disclose, trusting that He will protect us.

So, as we wait on God's perfect timing for Li'l B, we are truly thankful for the reminders that His timing IS always perfect.

Matthew 12:20 - ....till He brings justice to victory.

3.5 hours into summer vacation....

2009-06-12T13:50:00.001-04:00

It took only 3 hours into our summer vacation to have a medical incident. OchoCinco drove his knee head on into a tramp bar splitting it WIDE OPEN. So my sweet Buttercup calls me at work informing me she needs to take him to the emergency room. So to clarify when I say it was WIDE open, bone exposed, I mean 2 inches long and and 1 inch wide. I know this is a family program so I will spare you the before stitches picture. Maybe if you want a glimpse, imagine a huge carp with its bloody mouth wide open... My words at the sight of it were simply "oh my". We were thrilled to hear it was only stitches, 18 of them. Now a bit of a trophy for the young man.

Considering our homestudy is complete, I guess I can confess we sometimes do let the small stuff go... The mother of the friend whose house the trampoline incident was at spewed apologetically about it. We laughed it off and didn't even call a lawyer. Imagine.

I guess here's the bottom line. Our kids run and skin their knees. They run barefoot and they climb trees. They ride bikes in the street and the older ones don't ever wear a helmet. Sometimes I wonder if we were just that crazy when I was a kid or if we've maybe lost a little bit with this overprotective attitude lately. Not sure.

Action's latest quest... (hopefully no more medical incidents to come)

Yep, he's smiling!

They are ON the charts!!!

2009-06-08T16:33:00.010-04:00

Woo hoooo!!!

So the twins are now officially on the US growth charts. Kume is now between the 5th and 10th percentile and Jambo is at the 25th percentile. This is really great growth, since they were both FAR below even the bottom of the growth chart just a year ago. Thank God for chock-full-o-growth-hormones milk (oh, please, I am all about healthy, but if the milk can give a little boost, I won't complain).

Oh, and we really do have plenty of beds for sleeping, but our sweet little Kume prefers to snuggle up to whomever will tolerate her for the night.

Here is a picture of our Ethiopian giants :)
* the twins laugh hysterically at this picture *

Just had to add this one. Farmboy is hopeful we (the Red Wings) will win the Stanley Cup this year. We are awfully close.

2009-06-03T22:43:00.005-04:00

Okay I have arrived. I have descended on the place where reading blogs is painful, where glancing through others' time lines brings discouragement and (yes, I have to admit it) jealousy. Where hearing about court dates and packing and shopping and travel gives me the sensation in my stomach that I swallowed a lead-filled baseball. I don't want to be this way.

I am thrilled in my brain for the families that are uniting. I trust in God's goodness and His sovereignty and His involvement of setting these children into our families. And a part of my heart is also thrilled, also excited, actually overjoyed that these children WILL NO LONGER BE ORPHANS!!! But that thrill is definitely tempered with my own ache.

Yes, others have been waiting longer. Some, MUCH longer. We all have our own stories, and I do trust that this waiting is not wasted. That God is working here. But, sometimes it is just plain hard, and possibly by writing these thoughts down, this may act as some sort of valve that opens, and drains some of the ache for a while. We will see.

So, little one, we first learned of you August 14, 2008. At first the thought of adding another to our family so soon was daunting, now the very slim prospect of possibly losing you before you come home is immensely more daunting (yes, I know that this possibility is EXTREMELY remote, but HIV+ children obviously do have compromised immune systems). Interesting how God works on hearts. These months have worked to cement you deeply into ours.

As I ponder the documentation still needed for the courts, the new TB requirements which will add 2-4 months on our wait after court, and my own powerlessness in this situation, these words struck a chord in my spirit.

He will not judge by what he sees with his eyes, or decide by what he hears with his ears; but with righteousness he will judge the needy, with justice he will give decisions for the poor of the earth. Isaiah 11: 3-4.

Thank God He is just and His plans cannot ultimately be thwarted. Ever.

I feel a bit like I bet the psalmist David must have felt. I feel more hopeful now and less discouraged after penning these thoughts. Hmmmm, I may have to do this more often.

Another one says farewell to soccer

2009-05-30T12:43:00.007-04:00

Today was the final game of soccer for Action. I am sure there will continue to be many games still played on our front lawn, but he has chosen to say good bye to organized soccer and move on to football. Football at such a young age scares me, and that is saying a lot, since I am so not a worry wart, and pretty much think everyone will always be okay. We allowed our oldest to start football at 5th grade, thinking he might possibly have enough girth by then. Uh, not so much, but we kept our promise anyways. So Action is starting 4th grade in the fall, but somehow talked us into football this year. Again, not so much girth, but that may not happen with our boys until they hit college, so what's a mom to do?

Seriously contemplating his game...
(actually "taking a knee" for an injured player)

Great season, buddy, it's been fun watching you improve through the years.

Oh, and we took Kume to get some pictures. We took Jambo, too, but somehow his are not accessible online. So this girl is usually quite photogenic, and did a great job. Then I looked closely after the session and saw a ring of cracker crumbs around her mouth. Yeah, I know, why didn't I look closely before. So we returned to the studio and they had time to only take one shot. Mercifully, it was a good one.

How can you NOT like THE PRINCESS BRIDE???

2009-05-22T16:22:00.005-04:00

The Princess Bride

Sophomore year of college, I went to Southern California for spring break with 2 college roommates. The first night we got in from the beach, we decided to watch The Princess Bride, since my roommate's brother had it and recommended it. Then we watched it again the next night, and the next and the next. Five nights in a row. It became OUR movie. For the next few years, when we just needed a boost, we would watch it again. I tell you, this was our feel good movie. You probably have one, too.

Hello, we even nicknamed ourselves from the movie. I, of course, am the sweet Buttercup and hubby is the handsome Farmboy (since he thought Westley sounded a bit too non-tough).

So I am talking to one of my dearest friends, Laura, today. Seriously, she is an awesome friend. We have known each other since college (but....she wasn't on the California trip), and our friendship has developed to the point that she is like a kindred spirit to me. She is my accountability partner. She is hopefully traveling with me to pick up Li'l B when I go to Ethiopia, so Farmboy can stay home with the family to keep it somewhat intact. She is one of only 2, maybe 3 people that I can be almost totally vulnerable with. Hey, we are sisters and I love her dearly. But....we were on the phone this morning planning a get together for this evening when I mentioned that one of the things I wanted to do was watch The Princess Bride with the family. She couldn't recall what movie it was, and when I explained it, she said something like, "Oh, you know, I don't really like that movie. Chuck (her sweet husband who gets the movie) is always quoting the next line before it's said (isn't that cool???) and it sort of bugs me. I just don't get the draw of it." Huh? Don't worry, Laura and I will work through this. Our friendship deserves it, but it IS inconceivable....

If you haven't seen it yet, rent it and enjoy!

Spring has Sprung

2009-05-21T18:38:00.019-04:00

The heat has finally convinced us that the long cold winter is over. We wait impatiently for our missing documents. We've had to try to explain the delays inherent in the process a few too many times, although we really can't understand it ourselves.

Just so you all know we have kept ourselves busy...

Mothers Day, we had a chance to picnic with the Grand Parents

...and later take a hike.

...in the mud. Always a nice surprise!

HE made the vine, they climb the branches.

OchoCinco also turned thirTEEN on us, May 10
Happy Birthday Chief!

And Farmboy got to "stroll the plantation" with Buttercup...
For the record, Farmboy does the work outside the house.

If any of you have seen the upside down tomato plants aka "TOPSY TURVY" for the low low price of $19.95 plus S&H. Farmboy will attempt to make do with 2 tidycat bins and a shepherds hook... more to come as we progress:

Ever just want to scream?

2009-04-28T20:09:00.004-04:00

Sometimes I just don't get it.

Today we got an update from our case worker. Totally appreciate the update, but frustrated with the news. There are several things that still need to be completed before our case can be submitted to the court so we can have a court date. Great-aunt needs to file for custody for Li'l B in order to be able to relinquish her to be placed for adoption. This is a process that she will complete through the local court in the area where she is from. There are other documents that she must obtain from government offices in her area (documents required for relinquishment cases and a document verifying the death of the children’s mother), and she has been informed of what is needed and how to obtain the documents. My immediate reaction is, "ARE YOU KIDDING?" None of this has been done yet? Why??? She was brought to the Gladney foster care last AUGUST, and now great-aunt is being instructed on how to get the required documents. What about the past 8 months???

And here I was just thinking we were waiting on a call from Natalie for our court date. Ha! Well, at least now I don't have to get a tad excited every time the phone rings for a while.

So discouraged (you know the kind, where you feel like someone just punched you HARD in the gut), but I know I won't stay in this place long. It sucks to be here, and I have been able to trust God in the past, so need to throw this on his back and trust in him again.

Glad God is NEVER surprised.

Anna Maria Island, Florida

2009-04-23T15:39:00.006-04:00

So we did the long trek to Florida, and we are pleased to say we drove straight through, all 21 hours of it. There is just a little bit of pleasure to know we accomplished that challenge and survived and didn't have to plunk down more cash for a hotel each way. Would definitely do it that way again. Unbelievably, on the way home, all the kids went to sleep around 11:30pm, and WE HAD TO WAKE THEM UP 10 HOURS LATER, at 9:30am for breakfast. Lucky kids!!! What adult can sleep like that?

This is how many shells Kume could get in about 5 minutes. Yeah, we have a huge bucket of them at home now. Any suggestions on what to do with them???

So, CJ contemplated getting a tan, you know, trying to be all teenager-ish. He lost interest in about 10 minutes, and acted like the boy we know.

Day 1 -- Casperson Beach, near Venice Beach. A fanastic place to body surf, and the best place around to search for shark teeth. It was really wavy this particular day, and we all got thrown around quite a bit, with scratches and blood all over our still-white legs.

Kume scanning the sand for shark teeth. We collected about 50 of the little buggers.

This was the view from our deck. We were sooooo spoiled. I think we set the bar too high, no one will ever want to go to a place not directly on the gulf like this. It was great for all of us, the kids could go back and forth from condo to the beach or pool, and we didn't have to lug anything down to the beach except our iced tea and magazines. Rough life!

First Easter ever for the twins, so we had to decorate eggs.

We had one rather cold day, so we hunted around for a decent nature hike. On our hike, Action found this sea-life "thing" that squirted out ink when he touched it (don't worry --- with his shoe). We explored and ran into some other interesting wild life, and then watched some dolfins put on a show for us in the bay, so this colder weather day was still spectacular.

Okay, so we didn't bring toys for the older boys, as they are more into sports equipment than anything else. Surprisingly, they built stuff with these blocks almost as much as Jambo did.

This was the most "work" that Farmboy had to do this week. Oh, I guess he did wipe down the counter about 942 times.

Anna Maria Island is fantastic. Would love to venture there again.

But, hey, I am heading to Texas next week for hopefully more warm weather. There is an orphan/adoption summit there April 29-May 1. Anyone else gonna be there? Natalie from Gladney is going. Think I can corner her into giving me my court date?

stalls and obstacles along the way

2009-04-16T17:28:00.005-04:00

Many in the adoption community know that there are now new TB requirements in place set up by the CDC for all internationally adopted kids, and the US embassy in Ethiopia needs to comply. For most kids, this will only add a minimal wait, if any. We're talking something like adding on a couple days to a couple of weeks. For HIV+ kids, however, the embassy is requiring that all kids undergo extensive testing for TB, even if they initially test negative for TB. And they are estimating results to be in within 2-3 months. Another part of the bummer is that none of the testing can take place until after a successful court date. Sooooo, that means we wait at least another 2-3 months after a successful court date before we can travel, but we are told to plan on it realistically adding on 4 months to the wait.

There is a chance there could be some better news in the future. There is a great advocacy agency, projecthopeful.org, that is committed to help with this in any way they can. But in the mean time, I guess we just try to stay at peace with how this is all unfolding, since I haven't found a Bible verse yet that says something like -- give thanks in all circumstances, unless you hear frustrating news from your embassy. I am still looking for, rejoice always, unless you feel like you are getting the shaft, then you have permission to get really grumpy.

one year as this family

2009-04-14T09:32:00.006-04:00

On April 14, 2008, we held our newest children in our arms for the first time. What a year it has been. At this point last year we were kinda thinking this was it. Our family was complete. Ha! We keep learning it never works to try to figure this life out. God is far too unpredictable.

In many ways, this year went much better than expected. The twins began adjusting well from the start, with a few bumps along the way. The siblings are all just that -- siblings.

We are truly blessed.

But in other ways, this year was incredibly difficult. I was expecting "difficult", I read up on the adjusting, talked with many other families. But knowing what it would possibly be like, and actually experiencing it are worlds apart. We have had our fill of laughter, tears, joy, silliness, exhaustion, teasing, joking, impatience, frustration, peacefulness, anticipation and fear. Times of simply basking in the goodness of God's blessings poured out on us, along with moments of holding on to our faith through slipping fingernails. I have noticed that when I am in the middle of the massive stuff, I don't really analyze how tough or not it is. But as I reflect on this past year today, it is pretty amazing to see what God has brought us through, and how he uses those difficult moments to continue to prune, refine, purify us. Well, his plan is to make us more like his son. Yeah, in my case that definitely takes a lot of work, so I am sure the refining will continue.

We will see what next year holds. No, I am not going to predict anything (ok, except I do hope to be holding another little one sometime this year), but I am going to keep trusting our trustworthy God every step.

Hey, and April 14, 2009, just happens to be the 20th anniversary of when Farmboy and I first met. See, you really can meet your future spouse at a toga party. God is so cool!

Our new ride

2009-03-29T22:24:00.006-04:00

Oh, we LOVED our Honda Odyssey. It was very good to us for the past 10 years. But, hey, we need a car that fits 8 now, and thought it was about time.

The plan was to buy the new car once we had the successful court date. No, we don't have a court date yet.

A huge motivator -- we leave for a 21 hour trip to Florida on Thursday. All of a sudden, it seemed crucial to get the larger car NOW. Oh, you know it totally made sense...we want an "enjoyable" family vacation, and with a tad more breathing room during the loooong trek, hopefully the new car adds to the enjoyment.

So we are now driving a "new-to-us" Yukon XL. So I thought we were getting a Suburban, but I found out these Yukon XL's and Suburbans are exactly the same. Goes to show the wonderful efficiency of the American auto industry. Must be why it is doing so spectacularly right about now.

My favorite extra -- the heated seats. Toasty! Hey, what can I say? We live in Michigan....

Oh, and just had to add a picture of my girls.

We got the double/single bunk beds so there would be lots of room. But they both usually crash on the bottom double, with the dog, of course. The other night I could not resist capturing this moment.

God pursues us

2009-03-26T17:16:00.005-04:00

Okay, so I read lots of books to the twins. We have a ton at home, and we go to the library every Monday to get a boatload (or at least a heavy armload) more. We read in the morning, often during the day and always at bedtime. They have had the opportunity to read lots of great stuff.

So, recently, they have begged I read these two bible story books. One is a children's board book about the Easter story, and the other is a devotional that teaches the truths about God. After I do a couple of the "truths", Kume says, "Read more because I loooooove this book" (insert lots of Kume's emphasis). So I read more and more. These books are average as far as great children's books go, but they adore them.

This morning, I woke up to my alarm, with the 2 books on my bedside table. I glanced at the books and it hit me. God is pursuing them. That is why they want to read these again and again. They are drawn to the truth. It resonates with them. It makes sense. They don't have all the different walls adults put up that keep them from embracing the truth. They accept it as children, because they were created to want this story, understand this truth.

How cool is that?

experiences and thoughts

2009-03-17T09:13:00.018-04:00

Most of the adoption literature focuses heavily on the child's attachment, while giving very little focus, or none at all, on the parents' attachment to the child. So, I am not going to discuss the child's attachment process here, since there are much better writers who have addressed this comprehensively.

I am writing this post as I have had the chance to encourage and pray with others that recently adopted and are stunned by their own feelings, or lack of them.

These are wonderful parents who "completely fell in love" with their children at referral. Then, once home for a week, a few weeks, a couple of months, the adrenaline is wearing off, and the exhaustion is seeping in. Along with it comes an evaluation of their emotions. These families were stunned, surprised, disappointed, despondent, some even despairing over their lack of emotional attachment.

I have been given the opportunity many times now to share with families some of the normal feelings and reactions parents experience. First of all, it is quite rare (although a wonderful blessing)to have instantaneous connection to your older child at placement. That makes complete sense to me. If someone put a child on my lap at the church nursery and said this child was now mine, I certainly wouldn't be completely attached to him. It takes TIME. Second of all, attachment DOES come. Some families shared the fear that they will never feel connected. Yes, they will. The more nurturing things they can do with their children, snuggling, rocking, picking up, carrying, hugging, stroking, tickling (yes, definitely even an older child)... the more those maternal juices flow.

After I returned home and knew I was committed to these kids, but not completely attached to them, I did some searching on this subject. God graciously kept bringing adoptive moms of older kids into my path. Many, many adoptive moms of older kids have stated that it generally takes half the child's age to the child's age at adoption to feel fully attached. If you are adopting a 6 month old, 3-6 months is no time. If you are adopting a 5 yr old, that time is significantly longer at 2-5 years. But remember, it is a continuum of attachment, not from unattached to fully attached in one moment. So, even during the process it IS good. I just thought this might be something to be aware of for those families that are waiting to bring their little ones home. This is TOTALLY not to discourage you, but actually to help you understand what many families experience, and if you are experiencing it, too, that is OK. Then, share your feelings with trusted people. These people can pray for you during the adjustment, and that is powerful and effective. And there are families that do experience the more immediate attachment. Awesome! Just give yourself permission to feel the way you do, without guilt. And bring it to God. But do love. It is an action word, anyway.

Tomorrow I have the privilege to meet with a dear woman who brought home their 4 yr old daughter recently. She is overwhelmed, discouraged, afraid. I am excited to bring her HOPE. This is part of the journey for many, but it wasn't meant to be walked alone. Certainly, God is THE daily strength and hope, and as she was able to be honest and vulnerable with me, I can also be a support, encouragement. I am excited to walk this road with her and celebrate with her when her little one is snuggled beautifully in her heart.

dossier DONE

2009-03-06T10:23:00.001-05:00

Do you know where your dossier is?

Because we are pretty sure ours is on its way to Ethiopia.

Now we just wait for that SPEEDY court date we have been hearing so much about.

One year ago.....

2009-02-27T13:09:00.005-05:00

Our first glimpse of our children.

So, it has been one year since we first laid eyes on our children's faces. I can still remember what a rush of feelings coursed through my body as we viewed their sweet faces on our computer screen.

These two have come SO FAR out of their shells since they first came into our family. And the crazy thing is that we thought they were pretty far out of their shells from the get go. That just means they fit REALLY well in our family, able to be super silly and LOUD.

Jambo is one big snuggle bug. At first, he would allow us to hold him and snuggle with him, but now he snuggles back FULLY, wrapping his arms around us and burrowing his head into our necks. It is so awesome to see how God has allowed this little guy to love us so completely.

Kume was somewhat skiddish at first, and quite tentative and cautious. Those characteristics are rarely seen anymore. Instead, she prefers to boss her brother around, bring him to tears with her relentless teasing, and tattle to anyone who will listen (yes, we are working on this).

February 27 will always hold a very special place in my heart.

chronological age vs. family age

2009-02-21T12:13:00.007-05:00

I was just recommended the VERY good book, Parenting Your Internationally Adopted Child by Patty Cogen, from a wise, always learning adoptive mom, Becca.

I would highly recommend this book.

I have recently slipped into a comfortable place (maybe a bit lazy), not necessarily thinking about things happening in the family as adoption related or not. I wouldn't recommend that you do the same.

One theme that is addressed throughout the book is chronological age of your adopted child, compared with family age, defined as the length of time a child has been in the adoptive family. This has been very eye-opening. I think I sort of naively figured that we were now moving on to just "normal" parenting, not really needing to assess situations with "adoption" lenses. But this concept has helped me recognize that although the twins regularly exhibit some behaviors that are a little annoying, and not incredibly endearing for a 5 yr old, these behaviors are extremely normal in a one yr old. For some reason, this has been truly freeing for me, and has helped me be able to enjoy the constantly trailing behind me around the house, and be open to snuggling with a twin, who clamors up onto my lap the minute I sit down, to lovingly reach down and pick up a twin with arms raised to be held (bonus -- maybe I will have beautifully buff arms for summer), things like that. Of course, I would do that with my one yr old, and would expect him or her to behave that way. The book does an excellent job of teaching us that this is a l.o.n.g process, and that adoption related issues and concerns will be surfacing regularly for years.

I am not ignorant. I read many, many books prior to adopting the twins, so I wasn't uneducated, but sometimes you need to be in the middle of the situation to truly get what you have learned. You know, to have those "Aha" moments. I have had many while reading this. This book came at a time that my brain could connect it well to our current experiences, and I am grateful for that.

Oh, there are massive amounts of good stuff in the book, this is simply the one that resonated the most with me at this time.

You can't push the bedsheets

2009-02-12T20:11:00.016-05:00

Black Friday 2008, Buttercup and I break our tradition of sleeping in and laughing at those who rise early. 7am mind you (we're not insane), scatter about a few hours searching for the best of deals. Unfortunately, we are not consumers. We almost end up out for breakfast. We end up at Kohl's with a 6 pack of kids Nike socks, not eligible for the $10 coupon that got us there because it was a "door buster". West Michigan is seriously a classic place to visit if you did not know. I heard time and time again desperate mothers pleading with frazzled workers. "Is there ~ANYTHING~ here that this coupon works for... in the $10.01 range?" We toss the socks back on the shelf. No 1/2 hour line for us for a pair of socks.

We set sights for the linens department at JCPenney. 600 count sheets to replace the ripped ones on our bed we had dealt with for almost a year. Lines... but we were determined.

Fast forward... to the frost.

The crisp feeling of clean sheets is joy enough, but new, a virtual oasis of sorts. Smooth and cool, you could almost fall out if you lost your balance. I generally hit the sheets a half hour before the Mrs. The sheets are cooler... and she is like a radiator. I spend enough time setting all the sheets into place. Tug, pull, stretch to assure there is an equitable distribution of blankets. Layers of heat saving warmth for the both of us. ...~> Enters the thief. The room is dark and none are the wiser. Ease the door open then close, brush the teeth, slide in and doze off.

I picture the angels and demons battling each night. Not the real ones. The ones you might see on bugs bunny... "Cling and Roll Woman, Cling and Roll" I picture the sheets receding like a time elapsed photo of mountain snow in the heat of a warm spring day. What was once there is now all but gone. I wake in the fetal position "chilled" my t-shirt all that's left. On the opposing side of the bed a pile of sheets stacking up. There it is, stacked and wrinkled like a herd of Shar-Peis laying at the side of the bed. Buttercup is engulfed in a heap of warmth. Guilt free, asleep.

the strange attempt at a moral (since I promised):
You see, it was never her intention to take more than she needed. Her greater desire is do the right thing. In fact, I've even caught her middle of the night standing on my side dragging the sheets back. But she couldn't just push them back, she needed to get out and come to my side. Intentional. Selfishness is innate. Part of our depraved nature. It takes an intentional effort to notice where you are clinging on too tight and to recognize those in need around you. What do we need? Really.

Navin R. Johnson:
And that's it and that's the only thing I need, is this. I don't need this or this. Just this ashtray. And this paddle game, the ashtray and the paddle game and that's all I need. And this remote control. The ashtray, the paddle game, and the remote control, and that's all I need. And these matches. The ashtray, and these matches, and the remote control and the paddle ball. And this lamp. The ashtray, this paddle game and the remote control and the lamp and that's all I need. And that's all I need too. I don't need one other thing, not one - I need this. The paddle game, and the chair, and the remote control, and the matches, for sure. And this. And that's all I need. The ashtray, the remote control, the paddle game, this magazine and the chair.

out on a limb

2009-01-21T20:19:00.005-05:00

Going out on a limb....

I have been pondering this. I have been thinking about why we are continually stepping a few more inches out on the limb we are on, rather than back-tracking to the safer, thicker, sturdier part of the branch. You know, the more comfortable place.

I am drawn to this. I think this limb-balancing and stretching has become a craving in my soul. I'm not sure addicted is the right word, since addiction is usually associated with something negative, but the best way I can describe our lives right now is that I feel addicted to being stretched, challenged, again forced into unknown territory. When I first left the security of the safe, thick branch, there was definitely fear involved. But, once we inched out, there was surprising peace and joy that far outweighed the fear. It was exhilarating. So, when asked to inch out again, yes, the fear was there again, but happily, we found that the peace and joy were there again once we crept those few inches (but not until we crept those inches). That has been the case for the past several years.

Why? Well, I will use Laura's (my soul sister's) response: "Out on the limb is where we need God the most and he shows himself the most." Simple, true and beautiful.

Also, love what 2 Tim 1:7 says: "For God does not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline."

When I (or we, as the case may be, since Farmboy is way out there with me) am out on the limb, I can ONLY do it because of the "spirit of power" that is in me because of my relationship with God. I would be a FOOL to be out on this limb in my strength.

So, I believe we are now moving a few inches (although it feels like several miles sometimes) further out on the limb. God has been so faithful before as we stepped further into needing him, and we are trusting in his faithfulness once again.

HOME STUDY - finally - APPROVED

2009-01-10T16:01:00.006-05:00

Wow!

That was rather torturous.

We finally got our home study approved after waiting, what this mother would say was, far....too....long. Submitted prior to Thanksgiving....approved in 2009, January 9, 2009, to be exact. Hmmmmm. I guess it was supposed to be a condolence when we got the apology that we "may have fallen through the cracks". Not sure how we could have fallen through them, since we were emailing weekly for updates. Oh, as I type this, I am getting that gentle reminder again . . . . God is in control of this, and His timing is perfect. When will I learn???

On a different note, while doing errands yesterday (dropping off our CIS stuff at the post office -- you bet I didn't waste any time), I stopped by a local Ethiopian restaurant with the twins. Although Farmboy and I have been there, we never took the twins. I know, shame on us. Okay, they scarfed it down. We needed more injera. They slugged their soda, burped, shoved more in, burped several more times and basically licked the plate clean. I was worried they were going to vomit the stuff up, they ate it so quickly, and with all that burping.... But, they kept it down and so enjoyed it. It gave me immense pleasure to see them eating food that I am strongly sure their taste buds remembered. The owner, a native Ethiopian, also sat down with us for a while, and we talked about an Ethiopian cooking class another adoptive mom and he are cooking up (pun not initially intended, but kinda cute). How fun is that?

Christmas 2008

2008-12-29T18:36:00.012-05:00

Farmboy and his brood

YIKES! Kume gets a real kick out of these guns. Hey, honey, remember you have Barbies over there, and an American Girl doll, and a purse, lip gloss....Seriously, I get a kick out of it.

We do have to admit we have the kids trained well. They KNOW we are night owls, and have no morning bird qualities whatsoever, so they do a decent job of waiting to start the festivities. Starting the late-morning fun....

Yeah, I know. I said we would NEVER get a game system in our house. But everyone says that these truly are family friendly, and not too addicting. We'll see. The kids are THRILLED I got talked into this one by sweet Farmboy.

Wii Boxing... ages 5 and up:

Okay, if you don't know what these Perler beads are, you must get some for your kids. Our kids have spent hours and hours and hours making these, all the kids. From age 12 to 5, they enjoy them. Our downstairs tree was almost completely decorated with their creations. Jambo got about 11,000 more, since we have gone through the first 15,000 to 20,000. Just DON'T spill them.

HAPPY NEW YEAR May we all be open and available to step out of "safe" to whatever God is preparing us for this year. Like describing Aslan of Narnia, God is not safe, but He is good.

Z in concert

2008-12-29T18:33:00.011-05:00

Z makes us smile. She is such a free spirit, and definitely marches to the beat of a different drummer. She also is developing her piano skills and is becoming such a treat to listen to. I think she got a major charge from the comments of several people after the concert. They called her "phenomenal", and that she "blew them away." We are proud of her, and both like to claim dibs on where the musical talent came from (although I'm pretty sure we ALL know it's really from me....).

Addition to the post - Farmboy style:
Upon request... Here's a video of the Mad'ster performing at the elementary school Christmas program. Yes, we still call it the Christmas program in our town (not the ~Holiday Festivus gala event~) and we sing Silent Night and all that. I wonder, even in the wonderful little conservative community we live in, how long that will last. The music teacher allows anyone daring enough to play their instrument (maybe 600+ in attendance.) Sometimes you get a third grader plinking out "Joy to the World" with a single finger. It's fun to see the kids progress. Here's Mads [Z] 5th grade performance.

Let it snow and snow and snow....

2008-12-22T00:11:00.011-05:00

So, as we are currently under a blizzard warning, I am pretty confident we will have a white Christmas.

Usually we all LOVE snow days, but this past Friday was the kids' last day of school before Christmas break, so besides our middle schooler, who no longer has parties, the kids were all excited about the big shin digs, and DID NOT want a snow day. The twins were having a Pajama Christmas party, so were pretty jazzed to wear their PJ's to school and Zgirl and Action were excited about the pizza and sub sandwich parties, plus all the cheap, pointless trinkets they get to bring home and dump on the floor. But, early Friday morning came with a dumping of snow, so alas, we had a snow day.

Thankfully, Saturday was clear, so Farmboy and I got to hit the mall, along with everyone else in West Michigan, and get almost all of our shopping done.

I was looking forward to Sunday, the last Sunday before Christmas, a time to sing some of our favorite Christmas caroles and just be with other believers, as we all truly get the awesomeness of this season and feel so privileged to spend some time honoring our Lord at this time. Well, we got another dumping last night, and ALL today, so our church, and pretty much all the churches in West Michigan, were cancelled. Bummer....

Okay, tomorrow I have a hair appointment. Short hair gets "puffy" and quite unattractive when not taken care of, so....the storms better be calming down by then, because this is serious stuff.

Finally, the twins had their first Christmas concert at school. They stood next to each other, but by the last song, Kume was there, while Jambo was somehow behind her. Knowing her, she just may have been attempting to steal all the limelight. They had a blast.

MERRY CHRISTMAS
Everytime I think Third Day is just too cool, they go and blow me away again with more awesome stuff.

THIRD DAY - MERRY CHRISTMAS:

Here are the lyrics if you are interested:

There's a little girl trembling on a cold December morn
Crying for momma's arms
At an orphanage just outside a little China town
There the forgotten are

But half a world away I hang the stockings by the fire
And dream about the day when I can finally call you mine

It's Christmas time again but you're not home
Your family is here and yet you're somewhere else alone
And so tonight I pray that God will come and hold you in his arms
And tell you from my heart I wish you Merry Christmas

As I hang the tinsel on the tree and watch the twinkling lights
I'm warmed by the fire's glow
Outside the children tumble in a wonderland of white,
Make angels in the snow

But half a world away you try your best to fight the tears
And hope that heaven's angels come to carry you here

It's Christmas time again but you're not home
Your family is here and yet you're somewhere else alone
And so tonight I pray that God will come and hold you in his arms
And tell you from my heart I wish you Merry Christmas

Christmas is a time to celebrate the holy child
And we celebrate his perfect gift of love
He came to earth to give his life
And prepare a place for us
So we could have a home with him above

It's Christmas time again and now you're home
Your family is here so you will never be alone
So tonight before you go to sleep, I'll hold you in my arms
And I'll tell you from my heart, and I'll you from my heart
I wish you Merry Christmas

Paperwork FUN

2008-12-07T17:04:00.006-05:00

Really, I am serious, this is kind of fun. I am a list maker, and SO enjoy checking things off my list. So this kind of stuff is just made for my personality. For those of you who have adopted, you know what the paperchase is all about, but for those that haven't, it is a list maker's dream. Gladney has been careful to make sure to give us many, many, many lists to check off, recheck, rip up, make a new copy, spill coffee on, lose, make a new copy, check off some more....

I am seriously exhilarated to be making some progress in this process. And, yes, so far the rumors are true: Second time around is easier. We are just about Gladney approved. Honestly, if we weren't approved this would be one ticked woman. But, we will jump through whatever hoops to bring our little one home. We are also hoping Gladney/Natalie approves our homestudy, like, yesterday, so we can submit the thing to CIS to wait some more.

Oh, and the twins got their first taste of snow. Loved it, but keep wondering when it is going to get warm again. Yeah, me too....

Gladney

2008-11-25T00:11:00.005-05:00

So during this tediously slow process, we have gone full circle. We will be using Gladney to facilitate this adoption, after weeks of thinking otherwise. There will be some twists and turns that are unfamiliar to us and Gladney, as we both blaze a new trail, but I am excited to be a part of that.

I am also actually excited to finally start the paperwork process. Others have promised that it is much easier the second time around. Sure hope they weren't playing some cruel joke (coffeemom???).

So, I am thankful for so many things, but now have an added thanks that we and Gladney are again walking down this road together to bring our child home.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING TO ALL

Plug for Peder Eide

2008-11-15T13:18:00.016-05:00

Okay, so the concert was Thursday night, and it was so well done. Peder Eide has a wonderful adoption story, and such a passion for adoption and orphan awareness. He is the father of 5, three bio kids and two adopted, the most recent one, a beautiful little boy from Ethiopia. My kind of guy!

So, if anyone out there has thoughts about doing their own benefit/orphan awareness concert, I would definitely recommend contacting him. His music is great and he is a ton of fun. Lots of kids were at the concert, too, and if our own kids are a measuring stick, the kids love him. We got 2 of his CD's and the kids have been singing his music all over the house for the last 2 days.

Peder Eide's Compassion video:

Hey, on a side note, if you have a spare minute, you are welcome to swing by and help us rake up our leaves....

concert and stuff

2008-11-11T16:43:00.009-05:00

This Thursday, we are part of a benefit concert, that is all about orphan awareness and adoption as an option.

Cool coincidence. The concert organizers, Michelle and Chris, were dreaming and throwing out concert ideas, when they went to a concert on the waterfront at one of our beach towns this summer (seriously, you must visit Michigan in the summer, the beaches and big lake are truly spectacular). Michelle told her husband, Chris, she thought he should approach one of the artists about singing at our concert. Chris said, basically, not unless he got a clear nudge from God. Then the artist, Peder Eide, shared a little of his own story, and that he just returned from adopting a little boy from Ethiopia one week ago!!! Uh, Chris, I think that's your nudge. So, now Peder Eide is going to sing and share his story. Michelle then called us about a day after we made our decision to adopt L'il B, letting us know that she heard it through the grapevine we might be adopting again. Hey, that is one amazing grapevine. So, we are one of five local families in the process of adopting from Ethiopia that are part of this event. I am getting excited, but have to be honest that Farmboy and I are wondering if 20 or 1000 people will attend. We'll see. Ah, another place to trust God. He is ALL about that, I am learning.

On the home front.

We painted CJ's and Jambo's room and the twins had the opportunity to sleep together during the painting. Isn't the drool spot just darling? Oh, and this is a double bed, but they certainly didn't need it.

The twins are now 5!

Can you just imagine how beside yourself you would be if this was your very first birthday celebration EVER and you were old enough to really get it like these two??? They already had two chances to endure, I mean celebrate, a sibling's birthday and were SO ready for their own.

Zgirl just turned 11 and I had the privilege to take her and her 3 friends to the mall and to High School Musical 3. A friend went with me, to make the evening fun for all. This is her own work of art.

Halloween -- Farmboy and I greatly appreciate all the hard work the kids did to supply our sweet tooth when the little ones are in bed. Is this how it works in all families, because I do sometimes feel a tad guilty for all of our sneakiness. Sorry kids, I just really don't understand where the Reeses and Hershey's went, but there are still plenty of smarties, suckers and jolly ranchers.... You kids are SO lucky I don't like Snickers.

more waiting....

2008-11-07T08:48:00.004-05:00

I thought this time around, the waiting would be much easier. I mean, we actually kind of like the time to continue adjusting while we get ready to bring another little one into our home.

But there are different waits this time.

We wait to get L'il B into a new orphanage. The new orphanage is the best place for her while in Ethiopia, but there are a couple paperwork glitches, so she can't move there yet. This we have been waiting on since Oct. 1.

We wait to start working with our new agency, AAI out of Washington. Yes, we LOVE Gladney, but AAI is also a great agency and works specifically with the new orphanage, so we have to make the change. But until L'il B is at the new orphanage, we have to wait for AAI to officially begin working with us. So no dossier paperchase, yet. Hey, maybe that is a good thing....

We wait for our homestudy to be completed. Our homestudy worker injured her arm, so can't type right now. Hmmm, I'll type it for her, and give a glowing recommendation.

Well, the best waiting to do is . . . . waiting on the LORD. Really, what else can we do?

One Two Three, Not it!

2008-10-23T20:55:00.010-04:00

My poor wife, Sweet Buttercup is tired. Alas, defiant - convinced she is above the trivial and meaningless blogism that makes blogs, well, blogs maybe. Tagged, ignored, tagged again, nothing. Hmmm, what's a Farmboy to do... "As you wish."

I tag me to share 7 random (although selectively chosen) things about ... Buttercup. Wouldn't be fun to talk about a poor farmboy.

1) Buttercup is not her real name... it's hmm, nah. Even though I'm convinced everyone knows it anyway, we're still holding fast to the illusion this IS an alias. I will share this tidbit though... Buttercup has no real middle name. Parents suggest even to this day that her first name is SO beautiful she didn't need a middle one. Well - maybe so.

2) Buttercup is smart. Like 4.0 smart. Salutatorian at a big suburban metro school. Legend even has it that she WOULD have been valedictorian if Dominic Stupido or whatever his name was didn't transfer in his senior year. Actually if I had a nickel for every time I heard that story I'd probably have well, maybe like thirty five cents or something like that. That Dominic Stupido!

3) She does NOT like Pop. Get this... the bubbles hurt her throat. Ouch. Ok, I'm laughing at her. On the other hand, she'll drink pickle juice straight from the jar. I walk in the house. fridge wide open, head back like a "got milk" add, only it's sweet pickle delight. UGH.

4) If you sell something that is free after rebate, she will buy it. Seriously. Now the adoption tax credit was totally NOT the reason we adopted, but I tell yah, her eyes did light up a bit when I told her how it worked. We have not paid for toothpaste, shampoo, deodorant, shavers, or extension cords in YEARS, in fact my father actually told us to STOP putting them in his stocking at Christmas. Our cup overflows... We have conversations like... "you know, I think I would actually pay for this one" while getting ready for bed. The best is when she actually makes money on purchases. "Oh my WORD, what is this?" "Ahh, nothing... I made a dollar to buy it." ...Stocking stuffer.

5) Apparently she stalked me for the greater part of a year before we actually met. I was a college senior while she a tender sophomore. I can honestly say I do remember getting strange phone calls that went like this. "Is Farmboy there?" "This is Farmboy" ...click. Girlsgonemild-Calvin College style. We did meet at a toga party, actually. Tan girl in white bedsheet at keg with beer. Yeah, I'm in love.

6) Neither of us grew up with a heart for adoption or any life long indication that we would adopt. Neighbors of ours adopted just 3 years ago, and my honest reaction at that point was - Huh. God has though, before and since that date put some people and events in our life that planted us at exactly this point. One notable event was housing Mohamed Farmboy Jr. Salem, a boy from Western Sahara, Africa, in our house for 2 summers through our church and later for a 3rd time indefinitely. OUR plan was to bring him to America and educate him in the states for the remainder of his schooling, 7th grade on. He grew homesick and, just like that, went home. Weird. I'm not sure we adopt if he stays. GOD knew where He was headed.

7) This woman is a passionate follower of Jesus Christ with an insatiable appetite for adventure. Believe me, I don't need to go looking for adventure with the catalyst for it sitting next to me. I am the fear to her GO. She has a gift of wisdom, passion for prayer, appetite for HIS word, and a little bit of dynamite thrown in. Since you asked, I will let her share more herself.

When I TAG her to death. Tag, Tag, Tag, Tag, Tag, Tag, Tag. All 7 baby... You're it.

Don't be mistaken... this one was scripted by the one called Farmboy.

Oops

2008-10-20T22:06:00.010-04:00

Oops, we have been home as THIS family for 6 months, and I think I just sort of let it pass right on by. I'm pretty sure it was a good day, though. Seriously, we are blessed.

Okay, here is embarrassing....

We decided to use a different home study provider for our post placement reports (long story) and she is great. She came for the 3 month visit and all went smoothly. Well, to save time and money, she came to do our 6 month post placement and our new home study update all in one visit.

It was a VERY hectic day. That morning, I left early for a conference all day (a rare occurrence, but....I need to maintain my social work license), so sweet Farmboy got the kids off to school. Once I got home at 5:30pm, even though I wanted to just get some sort of fast food for the family for dinner, in order to be prudent with our finances as we are on our new adoption journey (plus we ate out a lot in Chicago), I had planned to make something at home, so quickly pulled a dinner together in the kitchen. This was done FAST, and cleaned up in a hurry, as our home study provider was expected at 6:30pm.

She arrives, she is SO nice. We have a nice time in our all-cleaned-up living room, kitchen and family room. Two story houses are nice that way. She shocks me. She wants to see the rest of the house, since she is actually doing a home study update, too, and she wasn't our initial provider, so needs to take a look around. Uh, yeah, I know you are tracking with this. Now I do like a made bed, but remember, I was the first out the door that morning. Nothing was done. Not even in our room. Nothing. I felt like such a slacker.

But really, what does a made bed and picked up room matter? Our home study provider appeared to care less, but this self-professed neat freak felt otherwise. I know, I know, you think I'm exaggerating. I just wish I had pictures to share of Zgirl's and Kume's room (yes, Mom, it looked just like that). Now they are slackers.

A weekend in Chicago

2008-10-12T21:55:00.007-04:00

Oh, what 2 days away can do.

I got to go away with my best friend, Farmboy, for 2 days!!!

Thank you, thank you, thank you, mom and dad, for watching the kids for us so we could spend some time as, well, just a couple.

And all the kids did fabulously. The twins have adjusted very well, and we thought they were ready. But you can never tell, for sure. Yea, they were thrilled to have grandma and grandpa spoil them to dinners out, games, extra snacks....

In an effort to bore you to tears, and stop yapping about adoption for a minute, I am sharing some of our trip.

We took the commuter train into town. LOVE doing it this way, since there is no stress with parking and traffic downtown. Farmboy is waiting for the train and he has a satisfied smile on his face, since we stopped at our favorite restaurant -- Taco Bell (not really, but it ranks up there in junk food fare) before we got on the train.

Another FAVE spot. We LOVE Ghirardelli, even though the samples this week were chocolate/peanut butter squares. Let Reeses stick with that, and give me a pure piece of chocolate any day. The sundae made from their yummy chocolate is scrumptious, though.

Farmboy and I were made for each other, really. Here we were, staying on the Magnificent Mile, and neither of us wanted to shop. The extent of our shopping was the Hersheys store. So much for spurring on the economy. Instead, we hiked along the lake shore and strolled around Navy Pier. Our kind of day in Chicago.

I am NOT a sports fan, but it sure was fun visiting this stadium. Man, the Cubbies fans are loyal. You should have seen the neighborhood surrounding the stadium. Maybe one of these years, they will finally get theirs.

The Broadway musical, Wicked. Go see it! I almost didn't go because of the name, me being a good Christian girl and needing to shun anything "wicked". But this is all about the REAL wicked witch of the Wizard of Oz, and she IS NOT wicked. Misunderstood. Now, that rascal wizard, well.... If you do go, get the CD of the music first. I enjoyed it SO much, knowing the songs ahead of time. Farmboy can vouch for me, I was a super geek at the show, giddy over the whole thing. I guess I haven't gotten out much lately.

Of course, we take countless "out of towner" pic's while walking the busy streets. Maybe we should have worn an orange triangle on our backs or something.

And upon returning home, the only pressing thing we have to get to is getting Zgirl's glasses fixed. Apparently, they just broke on their own, with no one even touching them. Weird.

do ken, one moe time

2008-10-02T18:52:00.020-04:00

Yes, it's true.

Crazy true.

After weeks of indecision we are jumping in with ALL our feet. 16 feet to be exact. We have received no additional information regarding the specifics of "L'il B" other than she is 2 this month. To say this was easy would be flat out a lie. I can't help but blame sweet Buttercup on this one. Couldn't you have named our blog weTALKofFaith.blogspot.com or ourwalk inthepark? Cutsie2'tsie.blogspot.com was taken?TwoKiddosNoIssuesThankYouVeryMuch or 8isTOOmuch.com not available?

Ahh, our walk of faith. If I'm ever going to be accused of being flat out CRAZY, can it be for something like this? Why not....

So, too many stories to share how we have clawed our way through this one, but here's a nice one. I'm reading the Bible one night, directed to a passage by the better half after we were praying for a clear sense of direction. 2 Cor 8: 10-12. "And here is my advice for you in this matter (gulp): Last year you were the first not only to adopt but also to have the desire to do so. Now finish the work, so that your eager willingness to do it may be matched by your completion of it, according to your means. For if the willingness is there, the gift is acceptable according to what one has, not according to what he does not have."

OK, you're all searching your concordances... it doesn't say "adopt" it says "give" but the rest is exact, word for word.

Same night, while still reading I start pulling alphabet pretzels out while eating. I grab a handful and start trying to spell something. I eat anything broken, just ~dinking~ around, and find myself with RUST. I dig through the remaining handful and find a Y. Cool... RUSTY. Oh wait, it's a T. TRUST. no kidding. same night. God would never speak to me with a handful of pretzels, would He?

Can you imagine:
Peter: "Paul, check it out... messing with that guy down there."
Paul: "Alphabet Pretzels?"
Peter: "yeah, it's so sweet how they make those little things... "

TK tries her best to make me a tagline for the post. "Do again, One more time" is hilarious, is it not? Yes, she's that cute all the time.

So off we go again. Unified, on ourwalkbyfaith. All the kids are pumped. I will NOT hesitate to remind them of THAT when Lil B is driving them nuts later in life.

Hey, it's CRAZY true.

Posted by Farmboy, father of... dare I say it... Six

We're still here

2008-09-17T20:13:00.015-04:00

Ah, yes, in case there is anyone out there still reading....

We are still here.

We have been in the midst of the most difficult decision-making time of our lives. As we wrestle back and forth, we just got some sad, difficult news about the twins' sister's health status. Oh, the reality of life in Ethiopia. So we pray some more.

But, life goes on and the twins are now in pre-Kindergarten and loving it so far. That means a couple of days a week, all the kids are out of the house. Wow, I got to go to Panera Bread with a group of friends while the kids were in school and I couldn't believe how relaxed I felt. I had no idea how busy and overwhelming it really has been around here, until I got a couple hours to myself.

Also, another feat. I am now walking again with a dear friend. The twins both learned how to ride a bike without training wheels, so they have been riding for 3 miles, while my friend and I walk and talk. Good thing, because the double stroller I have is a major workout for my arms, and I'd hate to get too buff....

For a while, they refused to put on their Ethiopian garb.

Finally, they were ready to take some pictures,

although apparently only corny ones.

Labor day weekend, the weather was absolutely glorious. Grand Haven is always one of my favorite spots, and as long as there is ice cream involved, the kids are pretty happy, too.

School days.

CJ leaves before everyone else, since he is in middle school.

BIG decisions/little decisions

2008-08-21T12:53:00.006-04:00

OK, so we are still TOTALLY praying about our big decision (see previous post), but let me tell you about a little decision we made.

We decided it would be fun and cute to have dread locks put into Jambo's hair. Hey, I am a busy mom, and dreads look so maintenance free and kinda fun. So, after growing his hair out for 4 months, Tuesday was the day. He sat for over an hour, as they twisted and gelled, and with relatively little crankiness. Then, $44 later, the stylist let me know we would have to bring him in to retwist about every 2 weeks, at about $30-40 dollars a pop. Um, I don't spend that much on ANYONE in our family. So, we leave the salon and his head looks like it has little rabbit turds all over it. I am thinking it will look much better later, once we get home and it is really dry. I went to work that evening and shared with an African American friend my experience, and she then informed me that dreads are actually very expensive and time consuming to maintain well (what???). And she said it all without even mentioning what an ignorant person I can be sometimes. Well, at least it was going to look cute for a couple of weeks. And me, being known to stretch as much as possible, figured I could stretch him needing to get retwisted for at least a month. So, once it surely got cute, we could enjoy the things for a bit. Um, not so much. The rabbit turds remained and Farmboy and I both agreed this was just a little lesson we learned. I was told we would have to cut the dreads out once we were sick of them (in this case, almost immediately), so was all prepared for that in a few weeks. So this morning, I gave the twins a bath, poured water on his hair, and -- POOF -- the dreads were gone. TWO DAYS. That is how long he had the "do". Ridiculous. I didn't even get a good picture before they were gone! I just shaved his head down to a number 2 on our clippers and he looks marvelous, with no more rabbit turds.

Lesson learned. But, hey, I did get my eyebrows waxed during his "dreading" and the woman did a fabulous job.

My children's mother died yesterday.

2008-08-14T20:47:00.025-04:00

Maybe you're not like me. Maybe your stomach didn't tighten up when you read that. Maybe you had a different initial thought. Aww... No. What? Oh.... You may have already come to a complete grasp of the dark reality of the life of the adopted. Amidst the frenzy of all the, well, frenzy, I think I may have missed this. ALL the grief. tragedy. injustice. This time it wasn't 143 million or billions of this or that or a pandemic. This time it was simple enough. Adada, the biological mother of our twins just died. We met her 100 days ago. She definitely looked tired. old. beaten up. I think she was 40. She made the trek via cab to Addis Ababa to complete the greatest gesture of love I think a mother could ever make, and with grace. I still wonder how she did it. IT. Give your kids to someone else so they could have a chance at a better life. And IT. Sit in a room and not scream out in anger at the cold harsh reality and injustice of a sick widow from Africa, staring over the table at a couple of clean cut punks with nice clothes, fair complexions, and only quietly tear up while handing them off. Beyond that, she was grateful.

The reason Jambo & Kume were an answer to OUR prayer is because their Dad DIED. Jambo told me the other night: "He's up there. He close eyes." That's what I heard. Their mother "was sick and unable to care for them". I ripped through that sentence on the referral bio in about 2 seconds. That means a little more to me now.

So we just got "the call" from Natalie. One on the home phone, another on the cell. We are not waiting for a referral. We are not, not, not . But . . . Jambo and Kume have a sister, almost 2 years old. Today an orphan. Soon to be in Gladney's care. Would we consider??? This is something we can't do. We can't have 6 kids. Not yet. We can't do a 2 year old. We can't afford $22,000 more. We're still adjusting. We're not ready yet. We are already stretched and exhausted. We can't consider this. We can't NOT consider this. This was not our plan.

We don't know.

GOD has a plan here. We don't think it's us, but we are not able to thwart the plans of the great CREATOR, nor would we want to. Is it us?

We don't know.

Here's our request. We hope you would pray for the right family to be lifted up, to be open. This was not our plan. God knows. But He just wants us to lift this child up and trust HIM. Trust in how He will set this child into her family. And be open if His plans are not our plans.

We don't know.

by Farmboy (glancing around and wondering how we would fit a high chair around the table...)

our CONSPICUOUS family

2008-08-02T21:57:00.012-04:00

So we just returned from a couple weeks of camping and it is becoming very apparent that our adopted kids are human magnets! People are CONSTANTLY approaching us about the twins and we had many, many conversations about adoption. I am sure that most families with an adopted child of another race get a great deal of attention, too, but I do believe the attention our family has gotten in the past couple of months has been well beyond the norm. My bet is because of their fascination with the twin factor. I saw several other families at the campground that had an apparent adopted child or two, but these children were not "famous" at the campground. The twin thing appears to peak lots of curiosity, so has moved these 2 to a different level of attention. Friends we were camping with informed us that campers on other loops of the campground were saying hi to our kids and calling them by name. Each time the twins would fly by on their bike, campers would hoot out "HI!" Huh??? Who were all these new friends? Maybe we should be more attentive? Um, nah. Also, when I would meet new people, they would basically say, "Oh, you are the twins parents." I think we have lost our own identity for a time, and are now appendages of our twins. It is fun, sometimes a little exhausting, but also an awesome responsibility to share what we feel the heart of God is for adoption.

I guess God thinks we are up for the challenge.

Some pictures of our summer happenings:

The twins LOVE coffee (just like their dad, with lots of cream).

I didn't think I had the energy or time to teach Jambo how to ride a bike. CJ did!

My creative husband helped the boys "create" the Holland pier. They didn't win first prize this year, but Farmboy is insistent that was because they joined the fun late and ran out of time. Otherwise...

At Muskegon State Park, I had the chance to read the superb book, Someone Knows My Name. Now this is camping at the beach.

Here is our Calvin College offspring. After talking about tuition costs, not sure any of us will be able to afford sending them to our Alma Mater. Better start finding some lawnmowing jobs, kids.

The Calvin College gang: Believe it or not, sometimes we almost fool ourselves into thinking we look "just" about the same as we did back in college (about 20 years ago).

And for our next camping trip to the Conference Grounds:

Jambo and Kume -- uh, sidewalk chalk is actually for, well, the sidewalk. Kume also wrote several "elaborate" T's, the first letter of her (oh, so secret) name.

Sweet Farmboy and Zgirl, staying in the shade, because, believe it or not, in Michigan, some weeks there is actually full, hot sun all day long. We were blessed with a couple of those weeks, and our poor sun-starved bodies can only take so much.

Action and the twins on the wagon ride. So fun to see the twins thrill over all their new experiences. Don't buy that you will miss all the "firsts" if you adopt older. There are MANY, just different.

Enjoying the Michigan surf with some popcorn.

STUNNING

I absolutely love sunsets. I do believe God is totally showing off for us at these times. He is awesome!!!

Obedience = Adventure

2008-07-08T17:40:00.007-04:00

Our hearts crave adventure. We were made that way. So, we often spend tons of money and time trying to grasp that elusive, amazing, deep-down-in-the-gut satisfying feeling we get when in the middle of an adventure.

But . . . . to be obedient to God is THE beginning of being part of His great adventure. When we are truly obedient and have our hands open in surrender, He never fails to call us to something that is truly an adventure that our hearts were made for.

Such is our adoption.

Adventures are not easy, otherwise they wouldn't be called adventures. They would be "rides", I guess, with not much effort for us to have to put in. But adventures are hard work and often scary, mixed with exhilaration, exhaustion, joy, frustration, fear and just plain silliness and fun (yeah, throw some impatience, anger and grumpiness into the mix, too, honestly). Thank God we are not called to an adventure on our own, but instead to walk next to GOD! How cool is that.

Such is our adoption.

I hope to keep stepping out in obedience no matter what. I hope to keep my hands open in surrender and ready to embrace whatever God puts before us. I hope to be obedient in the daily things, spending time with God and also stopping my own jabbering and being quiet before Him so I can hear HIM, and trust that He is good and that the adventure He calls us to is also good, no matter what. Are you with me?

OK, here are some pictures for those of you that don't read my post, but just like the photos.

These shots are from a recent camping trip we went on with several other families who have adopted or are in the process of adopting from Ethiopia in West Michigan. What fun! And what a privilege to have a group like this to support each other.

Here, you can see our new Beagle, Bo, in the background. Things are going ~pretty~ well with him. Wish he would figure out the electric fence better. What was I thinking???

Here is some of the group enjoying our time at the beach.

Jambo (no longer his name, but unless you come visit us, mum's the word) totally exfoliating in the sand.

Kume (again, her nickname) drawn to water at a pump like any typical kid.

About their names, we wondered how long it would take older kids like them to embrace their new names. Well, the answer in our case is about 2.5 months. We paired both their names together all the time, with a few slip ups here and there, and they easily slid into their American names, and now call each other by these names.

Also, since lots of people comment on their language development, just wanted to let you know they have spoken up to 8 word sentences. Genius? Boy, I hope not, we wouldn't have a clue what to do with that! We are enjoying it, though.

old/new . . . . big/little

2008-06-17T22:40:00.021-04:00

Yes, sweet Cheyenne is gone. Yes, I told the kids we would probably get another dog sometime next fall. Yes, we just got a Beagle named Bo. We got him Friday from a wonderful friend in my prayer group. I was sharing our grief over the loss of Cheyenne at my prayer group (an incredible group of women I am SO blessed to do life with) and hours later I was bringing home Bo to "test drive" him with our family. I am such a sucker.

Also, we are on to another layer of attaching. The past couple days the twins have been wondering about breast feeding. I have a feeling they nursed up until they had to say goodbye to their Ethiopian mother in December. My first response as they started to reach for me was "sweetie, that is private" until I recognized this was probably a bonding layer as they feel more connected with me, so I have been pretty open to them. I informed them that Mommy's milk is all gone, then yesterday Kume cracked me up when she hit the nail on the head. My dear daughter ultimately declared, "Lots of milk -- BIG, milk all gone -- LITTLE," using both her voice and hand gestures for emphasis and clarity. Okay, okay, they're little.

Kids . . . say . . . the . . .darnedest . . . things.

Cheyenne the dog - April 28, 2000 - June 9,2008

2008-06-09T20:48:00.018-04:00

After a couragous battle with liver disease (and the end coming much more quickly than we expected) . . . we put our sweet, sweet dog Cheyenne to sleep today. She was a very good dog and despite her lack of interest in playing fetch (unless there was peanut butter on the ball) she was just perfect in so many ways.

Just last week, we were enjoying a hike in one of our favorite parks.

She started getting sick a few days later.

I came across this some time ago... I thought it was creative, and true in a ridiculous sort of way.

15 things we can learn from dogs:
1. Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joy ride.
2. Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure ecstasy.
3. When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.
4. When it’s in your best interest, practice obedience.
5. Let others know when they’ve invaded your territory.
6. Take naps and stretch before rising.
7. Run, romp, and play daily.
8. Eat with gusto and enthusiasm.
9. Be loyal.
10. If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.
11. When someone is having a bad day, be silent. Sit close by and nuzzle them gently.
12. Thrive on attention and let people touch you.
13. Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.
14. When you’re happy, dance around and wag your entire body.
15. No matter how often you’re scolded, don’t buy into the guilt thing and pout…. run right back and make friends
16. Delight in the simple joys of a long walk.

Our eldest may have taken it the hardest... He stayed up with her until midnight, then slept with her in the bathroom her last night with us. Ahh, a boy and his dog.

We will miss you, you sweet, lovable old girl.

real

2008-06-03T00:29:00.007-04:00

So I am at work, just returning for my one night a week, and since it is slow I get the chance to check out some of my favorite blogs.

Today, I needed to check them out because it was a hard day for me. Honestly, it wasn't anything in particular, in fact, I can't remember any real difficulties, I just felt like I didn't have IT to give today. That is a tough part of the journey. Those days when things just don't make sense, when you feel down for no apparent reason, when you just feel exhausted and don't feel head-over-heels over your kids.

Driving in to work, though, I felt God gently remind me that love is a commitment, not a feeling. And even though today I had a hard time mustering up deep, loving "feelings", I can trust God to give me what I need to be completely committed to my family. I initially was a little disappointed (yes, total understatement) that my employer would not grant me the 12 weeks family leave that I would have gotten if I had given birth (that really is absolutely ridiculous). But I now understand that God knew I would need to be away from my family for a few hours to see the bigger picture, His bigger picture. So, after reading some blogs and doing some praying and just reminding myself of the Truth, I am ready to go home and hug my kids.

There, a real post.

What we have been up to....

2008-05-28T18:41:00.010-04:00

So, I thought I had better get a lot of pictures out, since it seems to be quite difficult for me to find time to get on the computer much these days.

First things first.

Wow! These kids are great. ALL of them. The adjusting continues to be going SO well and we feel so fortunate and blessed.

For any of you readers out there, that are still considering your adoption plans, we would love to put a HUGE plug in for getting older kids, AND for getting more than one. I know at Gladney, there were several precious, beautiful kids at the older kids foster home, who are not matched with a family. That means they are just WAITING for a family. Maybe yours? All the infants at the Gladney homes are matched with families, but when you see these 20 or so kids ages 2-11 that are so ready, but few are pursuing older kids, it just makes you wonder how many you can cram into your own house, you know?

Now on to our life:

Our life is full. Our driveway is full of trikes, skateboards, bikes, rip sticks, sidewalk chalk, bats, balls...., our laundry room is FULL (no more explanation needed), our days are full of adjusting, our pantry and fridge are stuffed full of food, our dining room table is full of laughter (along with chunks and crumbs on the floor), our stomachs are full (although, ridiculously, we take this for granted), our floor is full of hot wheels, legos, snap-beads, etc, the kids are full of medicine (boo-hiss -- giardia), our counter is full of backpacks, lunch boxes, school papers, pokemon cards (for a few more days, at least, and then stored away in a full closet until school starts), our house is just plain full.

But most thankfully full of God's goodness and grace (a VERY good thing since we are far from perfect parents with far from perfect kids).

The twins said they just weren't tired, so REALLY didn't need a nap. So here we are, as CJ got home from school, all zonked. But, hey, we weren't really tired....

Oh, and I found out that, yes, my lap IS big enough!

PRETTY!!!

A rite of passage for the boys in our house, and Jambo can be no exception. This is, however, the first time we are putting this on the internet where it will be a permanent fixture in cyberspace. I think Kume knows it. Can't you just tell?

Yikes!

Who knew they would LOVE raw onions? What a great snack (huh?) to tide them over while I am getting dinner ready. This may be an excellent tactic right before they leave for a date someday.....

Memorial Day at Hager Park with Farmboy's side of the family.

Jambo's hair is starting to get long again.

I was thinking of doing those super-cute mini-dreads on him. We'll see.

Man, I am having fun!

This is generally their favorite way to view the world.

This time with Zgirl and cousin Claire.

Those first few days in Ethiopia, I am not sure I could have envisioned this. But now our sweet Kume is head over heels over her daddy.

OK, I think Kume smiles about 98.7% of the time. This is one of the lovely ones.

Are they listening?

2008-05-11T20:17:00.005-04:00

Apparently they liked the music in church today. We were casually singing later at home only to find them joining in from a room away... do you think they are picking up the language?

Three weeks as this family....

2008-05-05T10:16:00.007-04:00

Ah, I love that God led us to adopt!

I am NOT saying everything is easy. Far from the truth, but it is GOOD.

Last week we ordered our new, big table. Yes, we could have ordered it before we traveled to get the kids, but until they were in our arms, I just didn't feel ready to get anything. We also bought another set of bunk beds, although the girls seem to have no problem sharing Zgirl's double bed. I've checked in on them, all snuggled together. Awwww.

Only a few more weeks of cramming around this one:

Speaking of sleeping, they decided they want to sleep with their siblings, and not us anymore. So we usually let them all wind down for half an hour in front of the TV, then it is off to bed. Yes, I used to be quite strict with TV viewing, but I have a feeling these 2 are going to see lots more TV then our other kids did at that age.

They love water, just like our other kids. Awesome!

I finally took out Kume's braids, and this is what it looks like after a deep conditioner and de-frizzer were used. I better get some good braiding books. Of course, I still think she looks adorable!

GPS Coordinates...

2008-04-28T09:53:00.010-04:00

I did not put the coordinates of any "exact" house but if you want to see a satellite image of the neighborhood where the Gladney Foster Care centers are, it's easy. Copy & paste these coordinates into Google Maps or Google Earth:
9° 1'30.10"N , 38°52'35.16"E

Ayat house, Hill Bottom restaurant, and the 3 Gladney foster care houses are all within a few hundred yards of this GPS point. If you pan out you can see the airport and other parts in the city. This neighborhood is about a half hour ride out of the downtown, which was actually an enjoyable ride (people watching etc).

Brain Dump - Travel

2008-04-28T07:58:00.023-04:00

Contributed by Farmboy:

Before things get too far away in my mind I thought I'd post some suggestions regarding our time in Addis.

Eating out \ Restaurants:

First off all, since we were staying at Ayat house, we ate at home much more than I expected. Packing for travel out to Ethiopia was tight, but here's what we brought that was great to have: Peanut Butter, Nuttella, Ramen Noodles, Instant Oatmeal, Crackers, Candy. Some things we did not bring that I would advise: Cans of Spaghetti sauce (can opener), Gatoraid Powder, Garlic Salt. Things we bought that were quite edible from the stores: Eggs, Cheese, Yogurt, White Bread, Popcorn, Spaghetti Noodles, Ramen Noodle equivalent, Bananas, Apples.

We usually ate breakfast at the house, and a couple times a later dinner at home. Most days we were running around at lunchtime and ate out often with the other families and in country staff. Our favorite restaurant was Blue Tops. We loved the Spring Chicken and the Fish Cutlet. Also, you can get a huge plate (a meal for a kid) of French Fries there for 10 Birr ($1). Top View was also a good place to eat, the Dragon for Chinese, and we liked Rico's for pizza. The cheese was more of a goat cheese there but it was pretty normal pizza. To give you a feel on prices, here are our bills after tip for 3 adults & 5 kids: Blue Tops 350 Birr ($35), Dragon ($25), Ricos ($25), Lime Tree ($30) Dreamland ($30), Top View ($55). Coffee is very dark - think espresso, add some sugar, then some more sugar - then it is very good.

Ayat House

If we have not endorsed staying at the local guest houses enough yet... let me once again plug the Ayat house. As mentioned above we often ate at the house. We could have eaten out every meal but found eating at home more relaxing, easier, & it is cheaper. It is not a hoax on the price ($40 a night). This is a VERY nice house and very clean. It's tile or carpet, and cleaned, almost to our embarrassment every day. A queen in the master with a crib, another room with a double bed and a 3rd room with 2 twins. The twin beds are a quite hard. We were offered the house at $40 USD a night. Since we had 8 people, we paid him $500, although he did not ask for extra. We also gave Zimmit, the young lady who cleaned the house every day $100 for her efforts. She is up early and works 6am-5pm, then goes to school till 9pm, then cleans up after we went to bed - amazing. She is 20'ish and I think she makes about $50 a month on standard pay. I wanted to ask her to please stop cleaning so much for us.

Some perks: I went out to ask Wagayu a question one night around 930pm, he invited Buttercup, my Mom, and Me into his room for a beer and some snacks. We spent over an hour just talking to him about his family and Ethiopia, life and so on... there was no charge on that... TV with Dish had around 10 English Channels (and camel racing) with a highlight being "Tom & Jerry" every night from 9-10pm. Our 3 bio kids loved it and we could relax. They did a coffee ceremony for us on Sunday, washed and ironed our clothes, and gave us advice on where to shop in the market. Wagayu also lent us a cell phone to make calls to in country staff with rechargeable minutes. Wagayu has one electrical adapter, I think he would like someone to bring and "donate" another one to his cause.

Oh, yeah, a downfall, I guess, but we were pretty flexible about it all, power does get shut off occasionally. At the Ayat house, one full day we did not have power, with the power returning at 8pm. It was really no big deal for us, and since we knew this happens ALL over Addis all the time, we felt we really had nothing to complain about. Just an FYI.

Shopping:

We got most of our souvenirs at an Evangelical Church. I think it was called the International Evangelical Church sale or something like that. This happens only the last week of the month, but if you are there, definitely go. I found the goods for sale there were awesome, better selection than the market places we went. Also it was very nice that the merchants were all in the courtyard of a nice church. It appeared that these merchants were also specifically selected by the church so I enjoyed supporting them. We entered the church with 2300 Birr ($230) and left with... 1 Birr. Many of you may be more comfortable here since there is no bartering ... the prices fixed although some of the merchants would lower prices when they saw you interested in something.

The 'Mercado' was very cool to see, but we did not walk around the big area... our driver did not say exactly why, but I think it was because we had the 5 kids with us. We did go to some smaller areas and bought some more goods there. Here the prices are negotiated, and our driver Solomon did most the work. It went something like: "Blah, Blah... Blah?... nah nah blah... Blah blah... Nah, Blah, Blah" Ok, it's 100 Birr - we start to walk away... Ok, 90 Birr. sold. I think its fun, others hate it. Get ready to see some beggars here too... you will find some more persistent than others. I was caught more than once with no small bills in hand and had nothing to give people quite a bit.

Weather \ Clothes

We are from Michigan, but I found the temperature very comfortable. I always wore short sleeve shirts and did not pull any sweatshirts out of my suitcase. Also, if you stay at Ayat house, they do your laundry so you don't need 10 pairs of t-shirts, underwear, socks etc. Make your own decisions here, but We over packed.

Money

I spent $2500 USD for 8 days (8 people remember) as follows:

lodging - 500, + 100 tip for Zimmit

transportation - 1,000 (van, plus tip)

food- 500

souvenirs - 500

* We got $100 USD converted at the airport upon our arrival. 9.5 - 1. We did use the "black market" to exchange money in Addis. Not sure exactly how risky that was, but we got 10 - 1 there. We paid Ayat and our driver in USD.

Internet

Accessing Internet was harder than expected. Lime Tree restaurant was very slow, Hilton connection was pretty good ($6 for 1/2 hour) Ayat is 30 minutes out of the city and we never tried any place close to get online. Type up any emails and compress any pictures before you get online and you should be in good shape.

Swimming

We did opt to take the family swimming one day at the Hilton, although we had heard mixed reviews. Cost is about $10/person (70 bucks for our crew) but we hung out there for about 4 hours, so felt we definitely got our money's worth. All the kids loved it and since the water is hot spring fed, it was warm (think bath water) and no one got cold and stayed in it for hours. We did get sunburned, even with 30 block sunscreen, so watch out for that. Bio kids only complaint was there was no diving board. The surroundings are lovely.

Hope this helps any upcoming travelers. And our number one phrase for the trip:

BE FLEXIBLE

two GREAT days

2008-04-26T14:40:00.004-04:00

Yes, we are in the throes of adjusting, but I must say these past 2 days have been awesome considering the massive changes our family is going through. We are slowly starting to figure out their personalities, their limit-testing, what is fear, grief, attachment stuff, and what is just plain 4 yr old naughtiness.

They TOTALLY want to learn English, trying to repeat almost everything I say. I took them grocery shopping yesterday, and they needed to repeat every item I put in the cart (several times...). Amazingly, they have already put 2 words together in some make-shift sentences. Man, kids brains are incredible!

For those of you contemplating traveling soon, I have 2 suggestions (so far. . . actually I have about 100, but will spare you an exhaustive post).

Suggestion One:

Stay at the Ayat House, or there is also a house next door that is also supposedly just as nice. There is plenty of room, even for all 8 of us that were there. You can cook your own breakfast and the occasional dinner when you are weary of restaurant fare. You may have the special treat of sharing a beer with the owner, Waguyu. Now mind you, I don't like beer anyway, and this beer was warm, so an EXTRA special treat (think - - - gag). But the conversation was awesome and Waguyu is always open to answer all kinds of questions, which we were more than willing to ask. Zimit (the housekeeper) will do your laundry and actually iron your underwear (just like I do at home. . . ). Also, you may think BUGS when traveling to Africa, and I have been to parts of Africa where the bugs were the size of mice (gag, again). The Ayat house is VERY clean and I think I saw 2 or 3 flies the whole time, and no other bugs, just in case that is a major concern of yours. And the price is unbelieveable. $40/night for a family of 4, or $60/night for 5 or more.

Suggestion Two:

If you have older kids (ours are 11, 10 and 8) and are thinking of traveling with them, we would say, GO FOR IT. Yes, the airfare is a hefty chunk of change, but the in-country costs are relatively low, and if you stay at the Ayat House, you wouldn't have to get an extra room or anything, keeping costs way down. Our kids played SO well with the twins, and had the limitless energy kids have, never tiring of piggy-back rides, playing tag, doing handstands, headstands, tickle fests, you name it. Our kids are your average kids, yet they traveled extraordinarily well, really couldn't have asked for it to go any better. Yes, they lived on french fries and spaghetti at the restaurants, but who cares? So, I bet your kids could do it, too!

Well, the post is complete, after many disruptions from a twin wanting a hug, a twin needing to be wiped, a twin wanting a banana, a twin needing a shoe tied, a twin needing a nose blown. Yea, disruptions! That just means the twins are FINALLY here.

OK, here we are on our first family vacation, touring Washington DC. Actually, we got the sweetest gift from our blogging buddy, Kristy, who lives near DC. We had a 9 hour layover at Dulles, so she came to pick us up and we did a whirlwind tour of the main attractions. AND we got to eat at McDonald's, a major highlight for our bio kids (and their mom), as they found themselves dreaming of double cheeseburgers and fries several times while in Ethiopia.

HOME

2008-04-24T07:51:00.002-04:00

Ahhhh.....

Home at last.

Jambo and Kume are currently crashed on the floor in our room. No other place was going to do for them last night. I think we are going to SLOWLY figure this all out.

Thanks for all the comments while we were gone. So fun to read just now.

DAY 2-3-4

2008-04-17T09:12:00.002-04:00

Things are going well… We have now been able to visit the older kids' orphanage twice and the infant and younger kids' center. We had a coffee ceremony that was very fun to see and the coffee was quite good. Most of the coffee here is about 3 times stronger than “our” coffee and they drink like 3 ounces. We took lots of pics and held many babies. CoffeeMom, we held your boys for an HOUR during the coffee ceremony... He is a cutie (THEY ALL ARE) and is doing well.

J&K are doing well - Kume clearly attaching to Sharon more, while Jambo to me. We went the embassy yesterday and all went well. One Gladney family from NY needs to go back today because some medical info was missing. How about this: AFTER (thankfully) our interview with the embassy, Kume threw up all over her clothes and Sharon's leg… which is pretty much where Kume sits when we are out. We are not eating any traditional Ethiopian food but are going to a dinner tomorrow.

Today we are at the Hilton enjoying the pool. J&K are loving it. Jambo did drink some of the pool water and coughed it up. Not sure if this is 100% new to them or not. I would guess so. Our days are not too busy, thankfully, and we are eating at the house quite a bit more than I expected. Yesterday, while Buttercup was at Ayat house (Awesome btw – more to come when we are at home), Farmboy took Jambo and CJ to get Jambo's haircut and exchange money… Turns out we did it on the BLACK MARKET… are we adventurous or WHAT! Actually our driver went while we stayed at the “barber” - a hole in the wall with 2 nice guys and 2 seats.

IS this funny? Sharon has called Kume “NABOO” more than a few times. Hopefully we can laugh about that now and later. NABOO is our cat.

We are finding internet access hard. Yesterday no power, othertimes so slow our emailing times out. Maybe we will try one more time before we leave… maybe.

Love to all!

DAY 1

2008-04-15T09:52:00.004-04:00

8:30pm - Jambo and Kume are currently sleeping in our bedroom. For the night? We will see….

In a word: Wow.

Let’s say a lot has gone on in the last 54 hours... tidbits… We’ll try to keep it brief.

Saturday

8am (hour 1) – Take off from Buttercupville… 2 ½ hours from Detroit and the first leg of our flight…

11am (hour 4) - 9 suitcases, 9 carryon’s dragged to the ticket counter.

2pm (hour 7) Another adopting family on the same flight. The Lindell’s, Michigan Adoption group friends are traveling to pick up their infant boy… Here… we… GO!

4pm (hour 9) Arrive, Dulles International. We know we either need to go left or right… or follow the Lindell’s. We take the l-o-n-g walk to the end of terminal D. Oh you ARE! Us too! It is apparent that if you are on this flight and you are not Ethiopian, you are adopting. I think at least 7 families including our “I must be in the back row” blogger pals: expandingthealbertsons. We were disappointed that Shumacher’s missed the Dulles connection but they made it out Monday night.

8pm (hour 13) Off on flight 501… Our kids did unbelievable on the flight. We had 6 seats together but we were offered 2 others to use as well which had working movie screens and reading lights. A huge blessing to spread out and totally crash… CJ claimed he stayed awake the WHOLE flight… the digital memories show otherwise. Z got sick towards the end. CJ asked if she was going to keep the barf bag as a souvenir. Very nice, big bro.

6pm (hour 28) 4 minutes to landing Z, hang on.

7pm (hour 29) Entry Visa, Currency exchange ($100), Immigration, baggage scanned ~again~ to leave the airport… This was a huge bottleneck with one security scanned running for the 300+ coming off the flight. This was a tiring hour…

8pm (hour 30) Travis picks us out easily. 6 white people buried in luggage, that’s us.

9pm (hour 31) Ayat house. Sweet, better than I even expected, very clean, very friendly, nice furniture, table for 8, beds for 6 plus a crib. We got a mattress from Travis, so we’re sleeping 8 for $40 a night baby! Take that motel 6.

12am (hour 34) Hot shower, bed

4 am (hour 38) Farmboy wakes up… hmm, this could be bad. Thankfully, after a couple hours, sleeps until 8.

10am (hour 44) Kaldi’s for breakfast... Machiattos to drink.

11am (hour 45) THE GLADNEY FOSTER CARE CENTER for older children. “~Jambo, Kume~… Mama & Papa…” Around the corner, under the clothesline, into the house to a room full of excitable kids, Jambo and Kume come forward stiff and apprehensive. Kume holds still a minute, then…THEN…, cries. Travis & the caregivers comfort. Jambo is first… Handed off to Farmboy… he’s doing well, smiling. Kume remained pretty overwhelmed and apprehensive, but she decided to snuggle/cling to Buttercup in the end (it’s SO nice to have a snuggler again). Can’t really put it all into words. We just met our newest children…..God’s plan all along.

We took lots of pictures there. Hint, the kids LOVE to see their pictures in the digital display on your camera. They definitely came to life after seeing themselves and their friends on the screen. My screen was actually kissed more than a few times. Once in the car, our bio kids were INCREDIBLY awesome at goofing around and having fun with the twins. GREAT ice-breaker.

12pm (hour 46) Lunch at a Chinese restaurant. Jambo & Kume ate, Jambo ate, and ate, and ate… both are decent with forks and knives. Jambo knows how to skip the veggies, passing them to Dad.

2pm (hour 48) Back to the Ayat House. Jambo seems really comfortable, or is just flying high with the excitement of chasing and being chased by our kids. He’s full of life. Kume is really soaking it all in. Quiet, cautious, finding it safest by Buttercups’ side. She’s smiling a lot but seems to be more nervous than Jambo. Over the night we broke out the fine china and had canned Ravioli and grilled cheeses. Jambo found the doorbell or ringer, and is growing familiar with the word “no.” It’s hard to discipline during a chorus of cheers and laughter from the other kids. Kume is joining in, turning off the lights and making a run from Dad.

7pm (hour 53) Travis arrives with the mattress. Kume is spent, Jambo settling down. It was quite a day for them too, for sure. Kume is quietly crying as she lay in the crib. Farmboy lies on the bed near her. Either comforted or just too tired, gives up within minutes and falls fast asleep. Jambo too, Farmboy slips out and day one comes to a peaceful end.

Answer: About a year

2008-04-10T09:27:00.019-04:00

Question: How long did your adoption take?

Looking back on our timeline our first home study was April 10, 2007, one year to the day from today. Young Action would probably point out that this was a leap year so it's ~actually~ 366 days but for the rest of us, it's close enough.

What a ride this last year was. We started with nothing in mind, only looking for God to close doors if we were not to continue going forward. Haiti once came to mind. Then we talked through here, and there, them, and these, and those. We almost selected 2 unrelated children, TWICE off waiting child lists. Changed countries, changed agencies, got impatient, got surprised, got scared, made friends, saved money, paid money, found tax credits, lost paper work, scanned documents, watched notaries sign stuff, authenticated stuff, FedEx'd stuff, and found out my fingerprints were important enough to take, three times.

We found out there was such a thing as an I-600A and the all important I -600, quite different from an I-864 not to mention the I-864A, 1040's, DS-230's, and the precious I-171H. And everyone knows about the visa 37 cable, right??? Letters became places like the USCIS, NVC, FBI, MOWA and a Foreign Embassy suddenly seemed to care who I am.

On another note, we finally bought some new luggage yesterday. Yeah, we kinda do things that way. But I am thrilled to say we also got almost all our packing done last night.

And this, as we know, is just chapter one.

Taking requests....

2008-04-07T12:01:00.006-04:00

We....leave.....in.....5.....days.

YIPPEE!!!!!!

Any of you that have referrals and want us to take some pictures for you and give your children some love from you, just let us know. We would be honored to do that for you. Just give us their names, ages, and location. You can email us using our link on this blog.

Oh, yeah, and Kristy, I won't forget our super top secret mission. :)

We just got this picture today:

Kume has seen our family picture (that is what she is holding in her hand) and she is still smiling. A very good thing.

Yes, they don't always smile. Thanks to Lori Rooney for giving us a shot of reality. Hope my lap is big enough!

I love his hair!

I DO like green eggs and ham!

2008-04-03T17:52:00.042-04:00

In just 9 days we take off for Ethiopia. Nothing is ~done~ but most things are started. We have 9 suitcases spread all over our house and more are on the way.

Tonight while I was at work, Farmboy whipped up Green Eggs & Ham... Kind of a new adventure quite possibly to convince the kids that food that looks a little different than we expect might still taste OK. What a great object lesson. What an AMAZING man... wait a minute - who snuck into my post and added something?

The camera does NOT do these eggs justice... a fine grasshopper green.

Action overcame his fears and ate like a champ!

... and I will eat them in a house and I will eat them with a mouse... And I will eat them here and there. Say! I will eat them ANYWHERE!

I might even eat them in Africa!

Just a little longer!!!
(back to Buttercup's post)

Soon!

We leave in 9 days, and finally get to meet Jambo and Kume and expand our family in just 11 days! I was going to say "complete our family" but I have learned never to think things are completed until God says they are completed. I used to think we would only have 2 children, that's it, a boy and a girl. Good, got it. Now we are done. Well...

We are about 1/20th done with our packing. Actually, the only things packed are Jambo and Kume's clothes and all the meds we could possibly need while there (I think). We are taking our 3 bio kids and Farmboy's mom, too, so we will be a nice big bunch. We get to stay at the Ayat House, and I have heard some great things about it, so am thrilled it will work for our family.

Thanks again to Becca Albertson for offering to watch our kids on the plane so we can get some rest. :) Wow! What a dear! That is SO awesome!!! Let's all give her a hand.

There, now that this is public, how can she refuse???

IT'S OFFICIAL!!!

2008-03-27T10:16:00.009-04:00

Introducing Jambo and Kume!!!

Yes, these are their Ethiopian names, no nicknames yet.

God has already knit them into our hearts.

What more can we say?

Thank you, Jesus!

tomorrow

2008-03-26T12:01:00.002-04:00

Apparently our judge never showed up for work today, so our court date is rescheduled for tomorrow. I don't know if this applies to all the Gladney families waiting court today. Sure hope some had a successful day.

I felt this huge crescendo of emotions today, up until hearing sweet Natalie's voice. It is odd, but when she told of the postponed date, the crescendo immediately crashed and I actually feel quite peaceful. I have had literally no appetite since yesterday morning (shocking for me), and now leftovers sound really good.

Hebrews 13:6 -- So we say with confidence,

"The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid.

What can man do to me?"

Court tomorrow

2008-03-25T13:01:00.002-04:00

Tomorrow is our court date. If you check out this post today, Tuesday, we would totally covet a prayer on our behalf.

We are trying to trust in the One who is in control every step of this journey, but it is a daily battle, let me tell you.

God is good, all the time.

I'm swimming over, who's with me?

2008-03-19T15:47:00.004-04:00

We were e-mailed more pictures of our kids today.

A couple in particular struck me because the kids were smiling and holding a couple of the gifts we had sent over in a care package. Ouch. I mean it's fun to see that but this is a LITTLE different than a normal pregnancy. This whole ocean away thing is... hard.

I was also relieved to see the kids holding our family picture and they were STILL smiling! I think the words that were used in the e-mail was "they clung on to your pictures" I don't cling on to very many things... but I'd have to agree, I don't know if I've ever waited in anticipation of photos like I have with this.

Funny or disturbing? We threatened our youngest (aka - Action) that we were not going to let him go with us to Ethiopia if he did not eat his asparagus last night. I can laugh today, but can't imagine the upcoming battle "You're not leaving this table until you eat your Injera bread young man!"

We were also mailed an update a couple days ago from some of the in country staff... "(T2) is a little smaller than (T1) but no less active! It seems when the adult to kid ratio changes the energy will change, too... as soon as the fun starts she is definitely in the middle. (T1) is enthusiastic about life! And I think it runs in the family, judging by his sister (T2)! In a house full of kids (T1) has no trouble matching the energy level of the others! He is bright and friendly and will surely settle down a little when he is not around so many kids"

It sounds to me like these 2 will fit right in with our family. We are going to be one noisy clan!

By the way, we still are fighting through bureaucracy & paper chasing with the NVC. We are trying to not have that steal our joy but we could still use your prayers on that glitch.

Well that's enough for now... aka - soon2B "father of 5"... Farmboy

stress....

2008-03-14T20:21:00.009-04:00

We are so very thankful that God is in control.

Yesterday, however, we got a little stress added to our plate. Our sweet case worker, Natalie is off in Ethiopia (hopefully she'll bring back some pictures to sustain us a little longer), so her partner-in-crime, Mary, called to inform us that for some reason our CIS approval never made it to the US embassy in Ethiopia. Mary was great and did all she could, contacting CIS and doing some legwork, but some things could only be done by us, as the adoptive parents. We discovered that, yes, CIS did send our approval on to the National Visa Center (NVC) on Sept. 19, 2007. Next step, contact NVC. Wish it was as easy as just typed. Calling or emailing NVC is not for the faint-hearted. After calling and emailing all day, finally this evening we got in touch with a sweet, very difficult to understand non-native English speaker. I attempted to spell and give our case number for several minutes. Then he reported he searched the records, and there is no record of ever receiving our approval. Huh? I asked him what could be done, and he said, if it is found they will send it on, but if not, there is nothing they can do. What?!? At least I think that is what he said....

Well, an hour later we were feeling lucky and thought we might attempt to call one more time and hopefully get a more understandable English speaker. Seriously, how do we know he truly understood a thing we said, or we, him? We got through, and this time the woman found our case quickly and said that, yes, the approval was sent on Sept. 26, 2007, to the embassy in Ethiopia. Uh, hem.... but it is not there, so something went wrong. So, she will check to see if it can be resent. Me -- "Check? Can't it just be resent?" No, she needs to check. Have you ever just wanted to smash the phone against the counter, - - - or klonk it over someone's head? Me, neither.

That brings me to another question. Why in the world would an agency employ someone who cannot speak the English language clearly, when their entire job is communicating in English over the phone. Bizarre.

How to end this post. Well, as I began it.

We are so very thankful that God is in control.

Have a great weekend!

Oh, another thanks, my blogger friend, Debbie, just sent some more pictures of our kiddos. And she leaves in just a few days to get her own little girl. Now that is awesome!

SURPRISE!!!

2008-03-06T11:37:00.011-05:00

So here I am attempting to be a great mom by planning dinner and getting it in the crock pot (although 2 of our 3 kids don't even like ribs, hmmm), when the phone rings. I don't pick it up, which is typical of me except the past 2 months when we were waiting for the call of all calls. Then I hear sweet Natalie's voice and think maybe I should get this one. I truly was thinking she had something to say about her upcoming trip to Ethiopia (I think she leaves tomorrow) but instead she gave us a court date!!!

March 26

I know, I know, it often doesn't pass the first time, but HOLY COW, this is the FIRST time anything has gone quickly in this whole adoption process so far (besides our instantaneous smittenness with these kids).

How cool is that!!!

This afternoon I was planning to book our spring break trip, because Michiganders start getting a little irksome this time of year, as we continue to snow plow out of driveways. Well, looks like we will postpone the plans, and if our court date gets moved way out, let's hope for some REALLY good last minute deals.

No, this is not Antarctica, but Lake Michigan in March. It IS stunning. In these shots, we are actually about 100 yards out on the lake. Lots of massive ice build up. The kids found some cracks and holes (or death traps) that made it ultra-adventurous, but we just let the dog lead the way. If she were to bite it, well, at least the rest of us would be safe. Don't worry, she's fine.

And to think, in a few months, we will be swimming in this stuff.

TWINS!!!!!!!

2008-02-27T17:09:00.003-05:00

Yes, it's true. We just got referred twins!!! It took us all but a half hour to think about it and accept the referral (actually we were ready immediatetly, but thought we better look like we weren't being too impulsive by thinking about it for 30 minutes).

Here is the scoop:

Natalie called me while I was sleeping, since I worked 3rd shift last night. She also called Farmboy and he attempted to wake me with a phone call, but our bedroom is pretty sound proof. When I got up from my nap, he was again calling and said, "Check your messages, Natalie called." Of course, I called and she gave us a referral for a 4 year old twin boy and girl with super cute dimples. We are ecstatic!!! We were always hoping for twins, but we knew chances were slim.

So, can I tell you about last night and this morning? I worked last night, and luckily there were no suicidal or psychotic people needing an assessment, so I basically had a chance to read my Bible. I read several verses on prayer, and felt compelled to pray earnestly about our adoption, praying out loud with hands raised as high as they could go at times. I felt so blessed during that time.

Again this morning, before I went to bed, I was reading in Matt. 18 and as I read verse 5: "And whoever welcomes a little child like this in my name welcomes me, " I felt so touched. I thought of these children as the 2 lost of the 100 sheep that the shepherd celebrates for when they are found. In the margin I wrote today's exact date, which I never do, stating we will celebrate like that when we get the referral. God is good.

So, as I peel myself off the ceiling to complete this post, I also want to encourage you to read the post below, as my husband is SO funny. Hey, his birthday present was just a day late.

10 common myths to inducing adoption…

2008-02-25T14:26:00.007-05:00

Dear Abby,

I am a 40 year male who is fast approaching his due date and I have heard there are some home remedies that could hasten the adoption process… Could you please shed some wisdom on these myths?

1.) Q: My Braxton Hicks contractions are painful. Don’t get me wrong, I’m excited, but they started like 4 months ago… Isn’t that supposed to be a sign?
A) Oh, you men are so wimpy! Pain is inevitable in adoption. Your timeline was 3-5 months remember? You think this is painful… try waiting for a court date!

2.) Q: We had a full moon just the other night. On top of that, a lunar eclipse. It sounds a little hokey, but I thought that just might work.
A: The gravitational pull of a full moon might stir your wife’s soul, but beyond that it’s no cure for a referral. Just hold tight to the truth that your kids look up at that same beautiful moon and stars from Ethiopia.

3.) Q: I’ve heard a brisk walk can spark a contraction. We’ve been on our share of walks and beyond that I play basketball almost every day. It’s hard getting myself up and down the court being “THIS FAR ALONG”, you know? What’s the deal?
A: Basketball is great for your heart, and if it keeps you away from Taco Bell over lunch keep it up… but sorry, it’s just a myth. My advice is to cherish those late night walks together dreaming and talking about what’s ahead.

4.) Q: I’ve been reading about Castor Oil. Sounds disgusting. I had a Molson the other night, and the lights were low. One could have mistaken it for Castor Oil at first glance… close enough?
A: Even castor oil is a myth my friend. Maybe ship a case of it to Natalie just to be sure she knows where you’re coming from.

5.) Q: I hear one of the most commonly used techniques is having lots of sex. Could you clarify some numbers for me? I was thinking every day for a while… you know… just to be sure. It’s important both of us are on board with this right?
A: Hey bub, you wrote dear ABBY… not dear Allen. Nice try.

6.) Q: Can I go back to question 5 for a second? I mean, it can’t hurt can it? It would never actually slow the process down would it? …maybe I should have written Dr. Ruth.
A: Dear Abby has declined to answer but suggests that a cold shower has also never slowed the adoption process.

7.) Q: I hear a way an MD can induce labor is by stripping the membranes. This sounds pretty painful, and quite frankly, I’m happy to tell you I don’t think I have the right plumbing for that. Secondly, those Braxton Hicks were strange enough. We will have to move on I guess. All these other medical breakthroughs such as Pitocin and breaking the water; we really don’t have a doctor for this, do we? Maybe the doctor that did our home study physical forgot to prescribe the “Adoption Pitocin” when we saw him last summer.
A: Believe me buddy, all men would die during labor. Maybe you should go eat some spicy food to induce your adoption.

8.) Q: Ahh, OK. My dearest Buttercup and I were planning a night out to eat Ethiopian Cuisine AFTER the referral. Could it be so simple? Some spicy veggies and Injera Bread will do it then?
A: Spicy food and herbal teas are a myth I’m afraid. It might help you enjoy a bit of culture some night though.

9.) Q: I hear an indicator that your time is near is a sudden burst of energy. Come to think of it, I skipped my Sunday nap the other day, and I distinctly remember helping fold the laundry just a couple days ago. A nesting instinct! We must be getting close!

10.) OK, so I give… nothing out there to guarantee a referral. How about a present? Tomorrow is my birthday… and normally I would wish for “obedient children” or “a world without crime”.

This year I’d settle for a phone call from Texas.

In case you didn't know, this one they call Farmboy.

Did I forget to schedule my ultrasound?

2008-02-24T14:56:00.003-05:00

20 weeks and counting

Isn’t this the time for an ultrasound photo???

I always got ultrasound pics at about 20 weeks and it seems only fair to get a different kind of photo this week.

Natalie???

What to do during the wait – other than whine and complain.

God has been nudging me/us to do some things. We have sort of ignored them for a time, because, hey, we are adopting and we will be getting that referral any day now and will have a speedy court date and will be shopping and packing and preparing for travel….

Yep, it was time to respond to the nudge.

So, today we had our first get together about developing an orphans ministry at our church. It is just a first step, and we want it to be all about what God is leading our church to, so we are going to have a season of concentrated prayer with other families that also have a passion for orphans. This gets me incredibly fired up! Thanks, God, for the continued nudge. You just knew we would finally stop ignoring it.

Also, I just finished the book Intercessory Prayer by Dutch Sheets. Fantastic. After reading the book and having some questions, I felt led to do a word study on the word “PRAY” in scripture. Well, there are 365 verses with the word “pray” or a form of it in the entire Bible (NIV), as obtained from BibleGateway.com. Going from Genesis to Revelation has given me a glimpse into how people have been praying throughout biblical history. Did you know Samson only prayed once? Probably should have been less wrapped up in Delilah and more into prayer…. Oh, please, like I should judge. It was interesting to read, though. I have written so many notes from what God is teaching me about prayer that I get an inkling this would someday make a good bible study. The thought of writing one makes me ill, though, so maybe I will just send my notes on to Beth Moore.

Another book I committed to tackle in the past month is Desiring God by John Piper. I was half way through it a year ago when I put it away to read some things on adoption. So as not to have it solidify into a permanent fixture on my end table, I picked it up again. It's definitely not a light read, but I can't stress enough the enormous benefit I received from reading it. In the 2nd half of the book, he wrote some incredibly convicting stuff on money, scripture and missions. My dear friend Laura and I sometimes say we feel like we're from a different planet from others we interact with, as we feel such strong convictions about a variety of things Jesus taught, and they don't seem to get our passion. How cool to see that Mr. Piper appears to be from our planet, too. Well, we are aliens.

Yes, I would love the referral, but God is always faithful. This waiting time is not fruitless.

ANOTHER SNOW DAY

2008-02-19T06:48:00.007-05:00

This makes 5 snow days this year. One more and we will have to add on school into summer. Yuck!!!

OK, I actually like snow days. It gives us a chance to sleep in (but not this morning -- I couldn't fall back to sleep, thus, the post). I usually get in the mood to make some sort of yummy treat like cookies or brownies. The kids are always THRILLED. We often go to lunch, and although I know, I know, the food is horrendous for us, I usually treat them to my favorite fast food restaurant -- McDonald's. You truly can't beat their fries.

But it throws everything off:

Mondays aren't good because I love my prayer time at church and my walk with my dear friend Amy.

Tuesdays aren't good because I have such a great group of women to do bible study with.

Wednesdays aren't good because I work third shift Tuesday night and really need to sleep on Wednesdays.

Thursdays aren't good because I have got to get some errands done.

Now Fridays might work. Unless I am meeting Laura for coffee, or MJ and Marla for lunch. I guess I have to check my schedule and get back with our Snowmaker.

I am going to get flack from Farmboy for this post. Honey, I really am busy doing all sorts of important things for our family, this is just a great season until our newest children arrive.

Speaking of that, no news on the adoption front. I did cave yesterday and emailed Natalie hoping for a crumb of news. She just encouraged us to hang in there and that there were still sibling group "possibilities". Hope those possibilities turn into my children.

For all you homeschooling moms -- I salute you.

On the tarmac....

2008-02-12T19:25:00.005-05:00

We are heading into 19 weeks of waiting.

I didn’t think I could ever wait this long….

This reminds me of a traveling experience a year ago. We sat on our plane on the tarmac at O’Hare for 7 hours. When we related the story to friends and family, they gasped such things as, “I could never have done that” or “How did you not go crazy" or “I would have demanded to get off” or such variations.

When we got on the plane destined to Germany with final destination to North Africa for a missions trip, we were initially told about some mechanical difficulties that would delay us about 30 minutes. I kid you not; the captain kept announcing similar statements about every 45 minutes, of course injecting nuggets of hope with each announcement that the part has arrived, the testing is almost completed, the problem is in final stages of being resolved, etc.... Well, 7 hours later we had to march off the plane, as the flight had to then be cancelled as the delays caused the flight crew to be beyond the legal limit for an hourly shift. Unbelievable. We (all 500 of us) then sprawled out at the gate for another 3 hours waiting for a promised flight out very soon until we were told a new flight would not be going out that night as there were no other flight crews available. We were instructed to come back the next day. This was at 2:30am. Shockingly (or not so shockingly as the trip was going so far), they ran out of hotel vouchers, so many of the travelers got to cozy down at the airport. We, luckily, met up with a very nice businessman (or angel?) who lived in Chicago and was able to assist us in finding a hotel even though most other passengers found no vacancies (Little did we know we really needed that sleep in the hotel, as the next several days of travel and on land had plenty more exhausting twists and turns. But that is another story...). The next day, we finally got off the ground and on our way, as a new flight was created to accommodate this whole group.

But…. some amazing things happened during that time. While sitting in the plane on the tarmac for 7 hours, we were able to walk around and, strange and "corny" as it may sound, this group of people really began to bond. We got to hear stories of many other passengers and share our own. Who does that??? A little small talk is typical, but we got to hear life stories several times over. Again, while waiting at the gate another 3 hours after disembarking from the plane, we were able to share, laugh, whine and bond some more. Finally, when our plane took off the following day the take off was muffled by all the loud cheers and whistles. Again, during that long flight we were able to connect with many passengers we met during that first fateful tarmac meeting. Our flight crew also pulled out all the stops. We were offered unlimited cute little drink bottles and extra meals and snacks (unlike domestic flights, international flight food is usually quite tasty). And lastly, when we got to Germany, there were signs up all throughout the area, directing those of us from flight #1044 (which we were) to a specific location. I think this may have been my one and only glimpse of "star" treatment. We were directed to immediate service at customs and at that point gave our final well wishes to the several hundred co-adventurers on 1044 that we had the privilege to spend time with. It was unequivocally the most memorable flight ever. I smile as I remember those hours and literally say, “What a blast”.

Well, all that is to say, I see this as a picture of our current adoption journey. Yes, it is difficult, yes, I just may have gotten off the plane immediately if I knew what was in store (or never booked the flight in the first place), but God didn’t allow us to know that, and that is for the best. Because the journey is long and hard, we are drawn to connect with others on this same journey for comfort, encouragement, laughter and a limited amount of whining. Basically, we know what you are going through, and you, us, who are all on this flight/journey together. What a blast!

Blessed to be a blessing

2008-02-02T17:41:00.000-05:00

Once there was a people who surveyed the resources of the world and said to each other, “How can we be sure that we will have enough in hard times? We want to survive whatever happens. Let us start collecting food, materials, and knowledge so we are safe and secure when a crisis occurs.” So they started hoarding, so much and so eagerly that other peoples protested and said, “You have much more than you need, while we don’t have enough to survive. Give us part of your wealth!”

But the fearful hoarders said, “No, no, no, we need to keep this in case of emergencies, in case things go bad for us too, in case our lives are threatened.”

Time passed, and the others said, “We are dying now. Please give us food and materials and knowledge to survive. We can’t wait. We need it now.”

And then the fearful hoarders became even more fearful, because they were afraid that the poor and the hungry would attack them. So they said to one another, “Let us build walls around our wealth so that no stranger can take it away from us.” And thus they started erecting walls so high that they could not see any more whether there were enemies outside or not. And as their fear increased they told each other, “Our enemies have become so numerous that they may be able to tear down our walls. Our walls are not strong enough to keep them away. We need to put bombs on top of the walls so that nobody will dare to even come close to us.”

But instead of feeling safe and secure behind their armed walls, they found themselves trapped in the prison they had built with their own fear. They even became afraid of their own bombs, wondering if they might harm themselves more than their enemy. And gradually they realized that their fear of death had brought them closer to it.

(This parable, written by Henri Nouwen, speaks of the dangers that develop when we allow darkness and fear to gain the upper hand in our lives, when we find ourselves bound tightly by suspicion and greed.)

Struck by it's relevance for today... and it being a picture of me & us.

Posted by the one very few refer to as Farmboy

16.5 weeks and hanging on God's Word

2008-01-28T17:00:00.000-05:00

Well, we are at the 16.5 week waiting time (but who's counting). Barf (to quote a fellow blogger)!

I have been wanting to compile the promptings, nudgings and words from God, and doing so while we go through this nerve-wracking wait definitely strengthens my faith. I highly recommend it.

Anyways, here is a compilation of some of God's guiding through this process.

2003

Nudged to bring Mohamed into our home. After he was here, I realized we could love a child that was not biologically ours.

2005

In the refugee camps riding in a HOT jeep in the Sahara Desert, felt God nudge me to open our home to adoption. At that time, the thought was quite unnerving and I had a voiceless argument for several minutes, trying to rationalize my way out of what I thought God just told our family to do. I believe His step 1 of the plan was to pursue bringing Mohamed back for school, since I just so happened to meet Jon about an hour later and he challenged us to look into bringing Mohamed back to our home for a long-term commitment. Jon was the amazing man who spent countless hours traveling and facilitating bringing Mohamed back to the States for us.

2006

Mohamed lives with us, then returns to Algeria and we begin to wonder if we have room for one more.

Dec. 8, 2006 - Farmboy and I go to Carrabba's for dinner and he asks if we are going to adopt. It was kind of an out-of-the-blue question, but another step.

I Cor. 16:8-9 "...because a great door for effective work has opened to me, and there are many who oppose me."

This is a great door, but the enemy hates adoption and plan on him opposing us.

February 2007

Felt I had no "time" to adopt, as I was spending way too much time running and doing aerobics classes to keep in shape. How could I have new kids in the home? Certainly they would interfere with my work out sessions, "my" time. In a matter of 2 weeks time, could not run because our dog hurt her leg (couldn't leave the house running without her, she would just flip out and that would be sooooo mean) and our health club was sold. I believe God orchestrated this to force me to give up exercising (at least the obsessive part of this). This has been incredibly freeing.

March 2007

Zech 7:9-10 "Administer true justice, show mercy and compassion to one another. Do not oppress the widow and fatherless...."

Hebrews 11 - what an amazing chapter on faith, so many verses were confirming and comforting.

II Tim 1:7 "For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline."

GREAT to know since adoption is certainly not for the timid.

March 30, 2007 - Went to our first physical needed for the dossier. Our doctor was not available, so we were scheduled to meet with a doctor that has adopted 5 kids himself. What a coincidence!!!

April 2007

Hebrews 13:2 "Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by so doing some people have entertained angels without knowing it."

Hebrews 13:6 says, "The Lord is my helper." I get fearful about bringing these kids, these strangers, into our home. But God calls us not to be fearful and how awesome since He is our helper.

Well, as I was reading through the New Testament, was looking forward to reading James next and focus on giving God control of my tongue. Thought this would be little break from all the scriptures that keep pointing us to adoption. Well, I forgot about James 1:27.

"Religions that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress...."

We had a thyroid/lymph node scare. Healing?

May 2007

Hebrews 11:24-25 - although I knew Moses was adopted, really realized it as I read this passage.

The last part of James 1:27: "...keep oneself from being polluted by the world." Sometimes the adoption "expert advice" can be utterly terrifying. I don't want to be polluted by it, but trust in what God is calling us to do.

III John 5 "Dear friend, you are faithful in what you are doing for the brothers, even though they are strangers to you." Again, as I fear about bringing these "strangers" into our home, God speaks truth.

Well, I finished the New Testament, skipping Revelations for now, and felt led to read the Psalms.

This passage is huge comfort for me:

Psalm 16:5-8 "Lord, you have assigned me my portion and my cup; you have made my lot secure. The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance. I will praise the Lord, who counsels me; even at night my heart instructs me. I have set the Lord always before me. Because he is at my right hand, I will not be shaken.

Psalm 35:23b "Contend for me, my God and Lord." He is the one fighting for us!

Psalm 37:7-15 Instead of typing this one all out, in a nut shell, I believe God is reminding us that the enemy is all about trying to thwart our desires to serve God, working overtime to attempt to discourage us and steal our hope, plotting against us. These verses are God's answer to the enemy. God's plans cannot be thwarted. Really, all the enemy can do is discourage us, he does not have the power to change God's sovereign ways.

June 2007

Psalm 48:12-13 "Walk about Zion, go around her, count her towers, consider well her ramparts, view her citadels, that you may tell of them to the next generation."

Basically, I am writing this post because of these verses. I want to look and recognize God's handiwork with our adoption, and share it to our next generation to bring God glory.

July 2007

Psalm 68:5-6 "A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling. God sets the lonely in families...."

This is another huge promise to me. How awesome that He is the one setting these kids into our family.

August 2007

Read the book Breathe by Keri Wyatt Kent (which I really recommend, all about making space for God in our hurried world). Anyways, she talked about how fear can lead us to busyness and directed us to read Isaiah 43:5. I caught my breath when I read the whole thing.

"Do not be afraid, for I am with you; I will bring your children from the east and gather you from the west."

September 2007

John 1 - Jesus invited the disciples to follow him, although they did not know where that would take them. Us, too....

Oct/Nov 2007

Worked on the Believing God study by Beth Moore. So many truths, too many to mention, but so powerful.

December 2007

I Thess 5:24 "The one who calls you is faithful and he will do it." We are pursuing adoption because we believe God has called us. How comforting to know he will faithfully be with us throughout the journey.

January 2008

OK, two of my blogging buddies referenced this verse, and I just had to add it it my compilation of the VERY WORDS OF GOD that have given me strength.

"But these things I plan won't happen right away. Slowly, steadily, surely, the time approaches when the vision will be fulfilled. If it seems slow, be patient! For it will surely take place. It will not be late by a single day." Habakkuk 2:3

FUNNY!!!

2008-01-19T16:05:00.000-05:00

OK, I realized I just posted today, but this is hilarious and had to share. Those of you on your own adoption journey, you will especially understand. Thanks, Denise, for passing this one on.

Enjoy---

Adoption by Accident Author: Unknown

Have you ever noticed that you hear all the time about "accidental" pregnancies, but never about couples who experience "accidental" adoptions? Can you imagine:

- --Honey, sit down. I have some news for you.
- --What is it?
- --Well, I don't know how to say this, so I'll just come out with it. I went out to the mailbox today and ... well, we got an I-171H.
- --A what?!? An I-171H? As in, we're going to have another baby?!?
- --It looks that way.
- --But how? We've been so careful! I put away all the blank I-600A forms. Didn't you hide our homestudy update?
- --Of course I did. But don't forget, there was that one night ...
- --What night? (Pauses) Oh, that night. But it was only once. We were just messing around. I didn't print clearly. I didn't even use ink! (Pauses again) But it was kind of fun.
- --(Giggles) it was, wasn't it? I'll never forget how cute you looked getting your fingerprints.
- --So now we've got our I-171H, eh? But that doesn't always mean you'll adopt, does it? I mean, shouldn't you see the agency or something, make sure everything's okay?
- --I already did.
- --And?
- --I'm five documents along.
- --Five documents! And they're all notarized, certified and authenticated okay?
- --Just great. There was one small scare when the agency couldn't see the notary's middle initial, but it showed up just fine under the magnifying glass.
- --Thank God. And you honey? Are you feeling okay?
- --I'm feeling fine. As long as I know you're happy about this.
- --Happy? I'm thrilled! It's always a shock at first when something like this happens, but of course I'm happy!

Our first birthday of 2008

2008-01-19T10:56:00.000-05:00

Once the new year comes around, within 2 short weeks we have the chance to celebrate our youngest's birthday. This year, he wanted a mohawk for a gift. Hey, how could I not resist plowing through his hair with my clippers.

For the family party, both sets of grandparents were able to come, along with his aunt, uncle and cousins on Buttercup's side. Even though his cousins are 4 and 3, he really has a blast with them. In fact, he often says, "I want a boy Aaron's age and a girl Sarah's age so I can pester them." How sweet....

He got great presents that fit him -- Action.

Here they are: a baseball glove (hopefully he doesn't lose this one, too) a skateboard, a new football (I guess the other 5 or 6 we have weren't just right), 20 Questions, another hoodie sweatshirt (this time a soccer one) and a watch (now he and Grandpa L. are completely synchronized again).

For the cake, he wanted a Bengals cake and he got it, sort of.

Wow! I can't believe our youngest is 8!!! At least he still likes to snuggle with me every night. Wonder how long that will last....

Nothing on Earth is as beautiful as you

2008-01-16T10:42:00.000-05:00

I was driving into work this morning and was struck by an amazing sunrise. Maybe I was just struck to SEE the sun... this is Michigan in the winter after all.

We look so hard for God I think sometimes we neglect to see HE's been here all along. One of my favorite verses is Romans 1:20 "For since the creation of the world God's invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that men are without excuse. "

We had the chance to skip LOTS of stones out West this summer... Can you imagine God placed each ~skippin' stone~ there for US in advance.

Beyond this, we can live in the anticipation that life eternally will be even better! I love these words in Jeremy Camps version of the song - Beautiful One: "Powerful so powerful your glory fills the skies. Your mighty works displayed for all to see. The beauty of your majesty awakes my heart to sing - How marvelous, how wonderful you are.... You opened my eyes to your wonders anew. You captured my heart with this love. Because nothing on Earth is as beautiful as you."

Posted by the one apparently called Farmboy

Waiting....

2008-01-08T12:56:00.000-05:00

We are at 13 + weeks waiting for a referral and it is getting hard. I remember reading others' blogs and how every time they heard the phone ring, they thought, "Could this be THE call?" Well, I am starting to think that when the phone rings. I do know God's timing is ultimately best, and need to trust that, but, boy, do I want to know who our children are!!!

Here is a great quote that comforts me, challenges me every time I read it:

What are you waiting for today?

May these thoughts encourage you to make it a “Productive Delay:”

"Waiting on God isn't about the suspension of meaning and purpose. It's part of the meaning and purpose that God has brought into my life. Waiting on God isn't to be viewed as an obstruction in the way of the plan. Waiting is an essential part of the plan. For the child of God, waiting isn't simply about what I'll receive at the end of my wait. No, waiting is much more purposeful, efficient, and practical than that. Waiting is fundamentally about what I'll become as I wait. God is using the wait to do in and through me exactly what He's promised. Through the wait He's changing me. By means of the wait He's altering the fabric of my thoughts and desires. Through the wait He's causing me to see and experience new things about Him and His kingdom. And all of this sharpens me, enabling me to be a more useful tool in His redemptive hands."
Instead of focusing on what we’re waiting to receive, let’s turn our gaze to God and ask Him to make us “a more useful tool in His redemptive hands.”

Our New Year's at Manna

2008-01-06T17:03:00.000-05:00

Bob and Kristen, friends of ours from the snowy north, just purchased a cabin already named "Manna" by the previous owners, and invited us and another family to spend NewYear's with them at Manna. What a blast!

We spent Sunday and Monday nights there and it was perfect weather for sledding, snowmobiling, snowshoeing, hiking, whatever. We also enjoyed playing games in Manna and eating all kinds of the typical "hanging out" munchies.

All the boys, CJ, Action, Kevin and Lucas, enjoyed riding on Bob's "tool" (yeah, right, Bob, sure it's a tool, totally necessary and definitely not a "toy"). Actually, it was extremely helpful to haul all our stuff up the driveway since our cars couldn't make it up the icy path.

Z girl and Kelli hanging in the loft, probably playing yahtzee, scattergories, or something like that.

OK, our kids had more hot chocolate this weekend than in their total previous lives, thanks to the industrial coffee maker with round-the-clock hot water.
Dear friend Laura and Buttercup relaxing.
Chuck and Buttercup getting ready to snowmobile. Yes, everyone went a few times, but this is the only close up shot we have.
Getting ready for 2008 with Charades....

.... and Apples to Apples - new Bible Edition (thanks, Cheryl)

We packed everything in, even a birthday party. Wow! Forty-one! Bob, I can't imagine how it must feel, me being only 38 and all.

Finally, sadly, we didn't get to engage in the incredible American tradition of watching the ball drop as there is no cable at Manna, so the kids improvised with a ball of masking tape that they dropped on 2008. This could really catch on all over the world....

We also had a visit by a guardian angel while CJ was driving the snowmobile and Buttercup was hanging on for dear life. All in all, this was definitely a wonderful way to bring on the new year.

My Utmost For His Highest

2008-01-04T11:19:00.000-05:00

OK, I am really behind in the My Utmost book, but I read the entry for Oct. 21 today and love this quote:

"It is ingrained in us that we have to do exceptional things for God -- but we do not. We have to be exceptional in the ordinary things of life, and holy on the ordinary streets, among ordinary people."

This IS the challenge.

So, when I question what big thing I need to be doing for God (as if He needs anything from me), I see God is calling me to be obedient and do everything He puts before me, big or small, in a grateful, peaceful, joyful, exceptional way....such as hanging with the kids, keeping up the house, supporting Farmboy, taking the kids to their various things, and being open to opportunities, conversations He puts before me with the people I come across in these various situations. No, this isn't a new thing I learned, but it is a reminder I need today.

Of course, the Holy Spirit is the key ingredient, the amazing power, to be able to do any of this. I am not foolish enough to think I can muster up exceptionalness on my own.

There, some deep thoughts with Buttercup

Let Milo open the door... to your heart

2007-12-28T18:08:00.000-05:00

Christmas has come and hurried past. It's amazing how it builds up and then just flies past so quickly. We had an awesome Christmas holiday with our extended families. We spent the Christmas Eve at Grandma and Grandpa D's, then followed it up on Christmas day afternoon at Buttercup's parents. The gifts were great but as we get older it is the time together that we cherish most.

Soon to be a Christmas tradition, we watched "It's a Wonderful Life" Sunday night before bed... coming up the stairs & looking outside to find the BLIZZARD had arrived.

If this won't get you ready for Christmas... (Dec 23rd 10pm):

Some of the "goodies" at the family exchange:

Who the heck is Milo?

Something funny came up at the L's gathering as we dove into some delicious Sara Lee desserts. My sweet Buttercup chimed, "Nobody DOESN'T like Sara Lee" ... the sister-in-law & I chuckled at her faux pas & bantered back... boasting... "It's nobody does IT like Sara Lee" ~ "What?, no it's not,... oh my word!" ~back and forth~ you get the picture... In the moments that followed I touted, "I guarantee it's "Nobody does it like Sara Lee!" Well, let me tell you the box says it all... and I was wrong. So now my sweet Buttercup can roll her eyes at me once again... as you wish.

That brings me back to some of the funnier mis-statements we chuckled at from the past. ...like the Flashdance song "Take your pants down and make it happen" (wonder why Mom didn't allow that song in the house) or another favorite by Pete Townshend "Let Milo open the door, Let Milo open the door, Let Milo open the door ... to your heart.

Here are some more Christmas photos

Christmas at the L's:

Z-girl cranks out Rudolph for the D's:

Lazy Days ahead

We had a great walk today (Dec 28th). After having gone a solid 2 days doing close to nothing, we ventured off to the Blandford Nature Center north of Standale. If you have not had the chance to ever get there, it's a real treat. I knew we were in for a good hike when the snow started flying and we were the only car in the park.

Self-timed photo at the Blandford Nature Center:

The girls loving this day:

MERRY CHRISTMAS

2007-12-25T12:22:00.000-05:00

First of all, I have been told we should use nicknames to protect our privacy, so here goes. We have a feeling our kids are going to have a lot of things they will want to blame us for in the future, so we hope to make our blog not be one of them (as they try to get a job, get into college, get a wife, join the CIA...) We are so on the relaxed end of the spectrum when it comes to being overly cautious, but, hey, nicknames are kind of fun.

So, introducing my beloved, handsome husband -- Farmboy. I wanted to name him Wesley, but he didn't think that sounded masculine enough. As you wish. Whatever. I, then, must be Buttercup. For those of you that are scratching your heads, rent The Princess Bride or borrow it from us.

Our oldest is CJ, short for Chad Johnson, or "ocho cinco", We got him a Chad Johnson Cincinnati Bengals jersey last Christmas and had no idea he would wear the darn thing virtually every day for the rest of 5th grade. This year, as a middle schooler, we attempted to spare him tortuous middle school ridicule and informed him he can only wear it once a week. In school, that is, at home, the jersey basically goes on every day again.

Our second is Z Girl, short for Zoe Girl, as she is all about music, singing, playing the piano, listening to our IPOD or her own new MP3 player, or dancing to Dance Dance Revolution. Great job on your recent performances, sweetie.

Our youngest is Action. He also was debating between Fettuccine Alfredo (who knows why -- he hates the stuff) and Einstein, since he loves math. But Action fits him well.

So, unless I screw up, these are our incognito names.

With that, hope you have/had a great birthday party for a King today!!!

Christmas fun

2007-12-22T14:05:00.000-05:00

No adoption news, but today I feel pretty content as we wait.

We are basically ready for Christmas. Last week, our church was cancelled due to a snow storm, so the first thing Farmboy and I thought about was, "Hey, let's get our Christmas shopping done." So, we and thousands of others were not deterred by the snow and completed our shopping. This is actually earlier than normal for us, so it felt pretty good to be done this early (I know, that is not really early, but we have been known to be shopping right about now).

We have tried to intentionally focus more on the birth of Jesus this season. We have done some advent readings together at home, just talked a ton about His great gift and Z Girl and I had a chance to go caroling with women from our church at a nursing home. All in hopes to have us get away from being self-absorbed. I think they are getting it, as the other night when our oldest, CJ, was praying, he thanked Jesus for his upcoming birthday we get to celebrate.

My dear friend, Laura, had a suggestion I want to use with the kids. Since it is Jesus' birthday, what are we giving him? On Christmas Eve or Christmas, I hope to talk with the kids about what we can give him as gifts. We will help them with suggestions if they need them, but really, we just want to be thinking about "helping the least of these" as Jesus would, and see what that might look like for us.

We need to capture what this tree looked like before the needles started to shower down hourly. We were opting for a different kind of tree this year, but hope to remember for years to come to NEVER again get a Norway Spruce. Farmboy even suggested we take the tree down before Christmas because we are so sick of the needle showers.

This tree was decorated exclusively by the kids and these two got a little hyper (like usual). At least this fake tree doesn't shower us, to0.

A few years ago, I got a couple extra stocking holders and one extra stocking, just in case. Hopefully next year we will actually need them. Sorry, cats, after Christmas I hope to get a good deal on another stocking, so your bitty one will have to go.

Here we go...

2007-12-20T12:48:00.000-05:00

Well, I think we are ready to join the bloggers out there and start a blog about our adoption journey. I have enjoyed reading other blogs so thought it might be fun to write one of our own.

As we get the hang of things, and as Farmboy uses his technical savvy to get this blog rolling, we will see what happens.

As a brief synopsis of our adoption journey so far, we are hoping to adopt a boy and girl sibling group from Ethiopia between the ages of 2-7. Our dossier is finished and we are currently in waiting mode for our referral. We have been waiting 11 weeks, but who's counting... Well, we are, of course!!!