So I am at work, just returning for my one night a week, and since it is slow I get the chance to check out some of my favorite blogs.
Today, I needed to check them out because it was a hard day for me. Honestly, it wasn't anything in particular, in fact, I can't remember any real difficulties, I just felt like I didn't have IT to give today. That is a tough part of the journey. Those days when things just don't make sense, when you feel down for no apparent reason, when you just feel exhausted and don't feel head-over-heels over your kids.
Driving in to work, though, I felt God gently remind me that love is a commitment, not a feeling. And even though today I had a hard time mustering up deep, loving "feelings", I can trust God to give me what I need to be completely committed to my family. I initially was a little disappointed (yes, total understatement) that my employer would not grant me the 12 weeks family leave that I would have gotten if I had given birth (that really is absolutely ridiculous). But I now understand that God knew I would need to be away from my family for a few hours to see the bigger picture, His bigger picture. So, after reading some blogs and doing some praying and just reminding myself of the Truth, I am ready to go home and hug my kids.
There, a real post.
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About Me
- Farmboy and Buttercup
- We have been married for 18 years, blessed with 3 home grown kids and 3 children hand-chosen by God from Ethiopia. On April 14, 2008, we adopted our 4.5 yr old twins at the time. August 14, 2008, we were asked by our agency if we would consider the twins 2 yr old sister, as their mother had recently died. Finally, on Nov. 1, 2009, we got our little girl and we are now this family.
Our Email
aka - CJ (Chad Johnson)
aka - Z
aka - ACTION
T - Jammer
TK - Munchkin
L'il B - The Tater
What you should know about HIV
- HIV can NOT be spread through casual/household contact. HIV is not spread through hugging, kissing, shaking hands, sharing toys, sneezing, coughing, sharing food, sharing drinks, bathing, swimming or any other casual way. It has been proven that HIV and AIDS can only be spread through sexual contact, birth, breastfeeding and blood to blood contact (such as sharing needles).
- HIV is now considered a chronic but manageable disease. With treatment, people who are HIV+ can live indefinitely without developing AIDS and can live long and full lives.
- People who are HIV+ deserve to be treated with love, respect, support and acceptance as all people do. If anyone wants more info on transmission, there is great info on the Center for Disease Control website at http://www.cdc.gov/hiv/resources/factsheets/transmission.htm
- HIV is now considered a chronic but manageable disease. With treatment, people who are HIV+ can live indefinitely without developing AIDS and can live long and full lives.
- People who are HIV+ deserve to be treated with love, respect, support and acceptance as all people do. If anyone wants more info on transmission, there is great info on the Center for Disease Control website at http://www.cdc.gov/hiv/resources/factsheets/transmission.htm
ADOPTION TWO TIMELINE
- July 30, 2009 - Court Date # 2 - SHE'S OURS!!!
- July 14, 2009 - Court Date
- March 16, 2009 - Dossier in Ethiopia
- February 25, 2009 - CIS approval
- February 10, 2009 - CIS fingerprint appt.
- January 29, 2009 - Gladney approved
- January 9, 2009 - Send off to CIS
- January 9, 2009 - Homestudy FINALLY approved
- November 26, 2008 - Send completed homestudy to Gladney for approval
- November 25, 2008 - Talk with Natalie and Scott Brown and decide to use Gladney again
- Oct/Nov 2008 - agency decisions, stay with Gladney or go with an agency familiar with this adoption situation
- October 15, 2008 - Home study update visit
- October 1, 2008 - Yes, we are excited to add another child to our family
- August 14, 2008 - Get a call from Natalie at Gladney. Would we consider adopting their little sister?
Our Adoption Timeline
- Dec 8, 2006 Farmboy and Buttercup go to Carrabba's for dinner and Farmboy asks, "So, are we going to adopt or what?" This is the beginning...
- Jan. 2007 - just think about adoption
- Feb. 2007 - look into foster to adopt programs
- March 2007 - Go to foster/adopt program, leave thinking we may want to pursue international adoption instead
- March 2007 - research international adoption
- April 10, 2007 - First home study visit
- April, 2007 - research countries and decide to pursue adopting from Ethiopia
- April, 2007 - work with first adoption agency and their waiting children list
- May 2007 - leave 1st agency as coordinator has left the Ethiopia program
- May 17, 2007 - 2nd home study visit
- May 2007 - research agencies and decide on Gladney
- June 2007 - switch to our new doctor, an adoptive parent himself (5 times)
- June 1, 2007 - Get FBI prints for our agency and home study
- June 18, 2007 - Get FBI "no arrest" stamp (a good thing)
- July 9, 2007 - finally get finalized home study, send off to USCIS
- July 16, 2007 - get Gladney approval (a very good thing since our dossier is about done)
- Aug. 1, 2007 - USCIS fingerprint appt.
- Sept. 21, 2007 - CIS approval, yea!!! This is the last thing we are waiting for, now we send the dossier off for authentication and then to Ethiopia
- Oct. 5, 2007 - our case worker emailed us to inform us we are officially on the waiting list.
- Feb. 27, 2008 - We received and accepted our referral for our 4 yr old twins
- March 6, 2008 - Surprise!!! A quicker than expected court date set - March 26
- March 26, 2008 - court 1 day delayed since judge decided to play hookie
- March 27, 2008 - Successful Court Date!
- April 14, 2008 - Gotcha Day!
10 comments:
I loved your truthful blog entry. There is so many emotions that go with all of this. God bless you. You are awesome!
Love the "real" ... share with us more. :) ~Shelly
Yes... bring on the "real"!!!
You are right... love is a commitment, and adoption is like a marriage. It takes time to get to know each other and all the little quirks in each of us... and over time, our love grows. You are so right to allow God to talk to you about it all.
BUT, I'm still sorry you had to go back to work. Boo!
love
becca
Thank you for sharing that every day is not PERFECT!!! I love your honesty. You are a great mother who loves her kids even when it's tough. Isn't it wonderful that God is in control and even knew when a day at work would be the break you really needed? :)
Bringing home a new kiddo, by birth or adoption, not to mention TWO, is a total sea change for any family. And with that comes good days and bad and down days and up...not to mention many of just total exhaustion. All that knitting together of family is a LOT of work. Don't forget that! And it's ok to need a break!
God is good, ALL the time and this will be worth the work and the mess and the clutter and the confusion.....we are only called to keep trying, to keep picking ourselves up and others, not to succeed every moment, but to persevere. You are doing so great at this, what a great mom you are and what a great family. Even on those days! REAL life is messy and never perfect (even when, of course, it is).
Thank you for your honesty. Thank you for taking the time the other day to talk to me. After reading your blog today, I could not help but think of a quote that I have heard.... everyday may not be good, but there is good in every day. Jen
As an adoptive mom and an adoption professional, I just want you to know that you can go through "post-pardom" even after an adoption! Many women who give birth don't "bond" with their children immediately. It takes time. Give yourself permission to take the time necessary for you.
Thanks for being real...
Thank you so much for talking about the ups AND downs! We all need to know what to expect so we won't be disappointed with ourselves when we're not exactly happy and excited all the time. Take care,
Lori S.
Thanks for the post Sharon. I agree with the professional that posted. I went through post partum after adopting Matthew.. Strange how that can happen.. But it seems God is good and is walking with you through this journey. I love how He uses daily things to show us Him and His bigger picture! You are a blessing.
Elise
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