Tuesday, June 03, 2008

real

So I am at work, just returning for my one night a week, and since it is slow I get the chance to check out some of my favorite blogs.

Today, I needed to check them out because it was a hard day for me. Honestly, it wasn't anything in particular, in fact, I can't remember any real difficulties, I just felt like I didn't have IT to give today. That is a tough part of the journey. Those days when things just don't make sense, when you feel down for no apparent reason, when you just feel exhausted and don't feel head-over-heels over your kids.

Driving in to work, though, I felt God gently remind me that love is a commitment, not a feeling. And even though today I had a hard time mustering up deep, loving "feelings", I can trust God to give me what I need to be completely committed to my family. I initially was a little disappointed (yes, total understatement) that my employer would not grant me the 12 weeks family leave that I would have gotten if I had given birth (that really is absolutely ridiculous). But I now understand that God knew I would need to be away from my family for a few hours to see the bigger picture, His bigger picture. So, after reading some blogs and doing some praying and just reminding myself of the Truth, I am ready to go home and hug my kids.

There, a real post.

10 comments:

Amber said...

I loved your truthful blog entry. There is so many emotions that go with all of this. God bless you. You are awesome!

The Roberts Family said...

Love the "real" ... share with us more. :) ~Shelly

The Albertsons said...

Yes... bring on the "real"!!!
You are right... love is a commitment, and adoption is like a marriage. It takes time to get to know each other and all the little quirks in each of us... and over time, our love grows. You are so right to allow God to talk to you about it all.
BUT, I'm still sorry you had to go back to work. Boo!
love
becca

Mindy said...

Thank you for sharing that every day is not PERFECT!!! I love your honesty. You are a great mother who loves her kids even when it's tough. Isn't it wonderful that God is in control and even knew when a day at work would be the break you really needed? :)

coffeemom said...

Bringing home a new kiddo, by birth or adoption, not to mention TWO, is a total sea change for any family. And with that comes good days and bad and down days and up...not to mention many of just total exhaustion. All that knitting together of family is a LOT of work. Don't forget that! And it's ok to need a break!

God is good, ALL the time and this will be worth the work and the mess and the clutter and the confusion.....we are only called to keep trying, to keep picking ourselves up and others, not to succeed every moment, but to persevere. You are doing so great at this, what a great mom you are and what a great family. Even on those days! REAL life is messy and never perfect (even when, of course, it is).

Jen said...

Thank you for your honesty. Thank you for taking the time the other day to talk to me. After reading your blog today, I could not help but think of a quote that I have heard.... everyday may not be good, but there is good in every day. Jen

Anonymous said...

As an adoptive mom and an adoption professional, I just want you to know that you can go through "post-pardom" even after an adoption! Many women who give birth don't "bond" with their children immediately. It takes time. Give yourself permission to take the time necessary for you.

Holly said...

Thanks for being real...

Lori said...

Thank you so much for talking about the ups AND downs! We all need to know what to expect so we won't be disappointed with ourselves when we're not exactly happy and excited all the time. Take care,
Lori S.

atHisrighthand said...

Thanks for the post Sharon. I agree with the professional that posted. I went through post partum after adopting Matthew.. Strange how that can happen.. But it seems God is good and is walking with you through this journey. I love how He uses daily things to show us Him and His bigger picture! You are a blessing.
Elise