Friday, June 19, 2009
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
God's timing IS perfect
So I am in the middle of the latest Beth Moore bible study on the book of Esther. Again, God's timing is impeccable for this Buttercup.
As I look back, I see God's perfect timing throughout many chapters in our lives. Most recently, Jambo and Kume came home at the absolutely best time for our family. Over and over I have seen the perfectness of His plan. Of course, there are those that I still don't understand, and on this side of eternity, I may never. That is where faith comes in, and I throw my confusion back at God. He always catches it well, handles it perfectly and never drops it. Once thrown back to Him, He grows His indescribable peace in me.
As we wait on Li'l B, wait for her to be HOME, here are some gifts God has given to me in His perfect timing. These are all excerpts from the Esther study. (Hope that is credit enough. This Buttercup has done tons of research throughout college and grad school, so properly noting resources has been exhaustively drilled into me).
"He never takes His eyes off of us or off the clock ticking over us."
even when it totally doesn't feel like it....
"When all is said and done, Satan can't win and God with you can't lose."
I SO needed to hear that.
"Sometimes we fear that fighting for what is right will kill us. Then again, it occurs to us that to stand by and do nothing out of self-preservation is to be dead already."
Oh, we were so fearful at first to bring an HIV+ child into our home, but God clearly revealed to us our fear was out of our desire to preserve our safe, little lives. He is completely not about that! He is about LIVING.
"Every giant-sized weight drops into our laps right on schedule. None of our purposes will be fulfilled easily. All of them will require the most difficult decisions we think we can make. Decisions that we may feel will practically kill us. Then God does something miraculous and we become something we're not."
Again, that was EXACTLY where we were when contemplating adopting Li'l B. It certainly wasn't on OUR schedule, and I don't have the words to describe just how massively difficult the decision making time was. But I so believe we have become something different as we have stepped out in faith. More eternally focused....and excited to parent Li'l B, the girl, not Li'l B, the HIV+ child.
"In times of greatest struggle when you make the Godward decision over convenience, earthly comfort, or carnal pleasure, you too have come to a critical moment in the fulfillment of your destiny. A defining moment."
Fulfilling our destiny....oh, it is humbling and exhilarating.
Lastly, "She must step into the unknown known and into the hiddenness completely unhidden. Fully exposed, only a providential force could protect her now."
Yes, us too. This is our destiny, and we are not continuing to walk this journey hidden. In the HIV/AIDS world, in the developing world, life or death is the issue. In America, with amazing meds, disclosure is possibly the biggest issue. God has nudged us to not remain hidden, but to be exposed, to disclose, trusting that He will protect us.
So, as we wait on God's perfect timing for Li'l B, we are truly thankful for the reminders that His timing IS always perfect.
Matthew 12:20 - ....till He brings justice to victory.
As I look back, I see God's perfect timing throughout many chapters in our lives. Most recently, Jambo and Kume came home at the absolutely best time for our family. Over and over I have seen the perfectness of His plan. Of course, there are those that I still don't understand, and on this side of eternity, I may never. That is where faith comes in, and I throw my confusion back at God. He always catches it well, handles it perfectly and never drops it. Once thrown back to Him, He grows His indescribable peace in me.
As we wait on Li'l B, wait for her to be HOME, here are some gifts God has given to me in His perfect timing. These are all excerpts from the Esther study. (Hope that is credit enough. This Buttercup has done tons of research throughout college and grad school, so properly noting resources has been exhaustively drilled into me).
"He never takes His eyes off of us or off the clock ticking over us."
even when it totally doesn't feel like it....
"When all is said and done, Satan can't win and God with you can't lose."
I SO needed to hear that.
"Sometimes we fear that fighting for what is right will kill us. Then again, it occurs to us that to stand by and do nothing out of self-preservation is to be dead already."
Oh, we were so fearful at first to bring an HIV+ child into our home, but God clearly revealed to us our fear was out of our desire to preserve our safe, little lives. He is completely not about that! He is about LIVING.
"Every giant-sized weight drops into our laps right on schedule. None of our purposes will be fulfilled easily. All of them will require the most difficult decisions we think we can make. Decisions that we may feel will practically kill us. Then God does something miraculous and we become something we're not."
Again, that was EXACTLY where we were when contemplating adopting Li'l B. It certainly wasn't on OUR schedule, and I don't have the words to describe just how massively difficult the decision making time was. But I so believe we have become something different as we have stepped out in faith. More eternally focused....and excited to parent Li'l B, the girl, not Li'l B, the HIV+ child.
"In times of greatest struggle when you make the Godward decision over convenience, earthly comfort, or carnal pleasure, you too have come to a critical moment in the fulfillment of your destiny. A defining moment."
Fulfilling our destiny....oh, it is humbling and exhilarating.
Lastly, "She must step into the unknown known and into the hiddenness completely unhidden. Fully exposed, only a providential force could protect her now."
Yes, us too. This is our destiny, and we are not continuing to walk this journey hidden. In the HIV/AIDS world, in the developing world, life or death is the issue. In America, with amazing meds, disclosure is possibly the biggest issue. God has nudged us to not remain hidden, but to be exposed, to disclose, trusting that He will protect us.
So, as we wait on God's perfect timing for Li'l B, we are truly thankful for the reminders that His timing IS always perfect.
Matthew 12:20 - ....till He brings justice to victory.
Friday, June 12, 2009
3.5 hours into summer vacation....
It took only 3 hours into our summer vacation to have a medical incident. OchoCinco drove his knee head on into a tramp bar splitting it WIDE OPEN. So my sweet Buttercup calls me at work informing me she needs to take him to the emergency room. So to clarify when I say it was WIDE open, bone exposed, I mean 2 inches long and and 1 inch wide. I know this is a family program so I will spare you the before stitches picture. Maybe if you want a glimpse, imagine a huge carp with its bloody mouth wide open... My words at the sight of it were simply "oh my". We were thrilled to hear it was only stitches, 18 of them. Now a bit of a trophy for the young man.
Considering our homestudy is complete, I guess I can confess we sometimes do let the small stuff go... The mother of the friend whose house the trampoline incident was at spewed apologetically about it. We laughed it off and didn't even call a lawyer. Imagine.
I guess here's the bottom line. Our kids run and skin their knees. They run barefoot and they climb trees. They ride bikes in the street and the older ones don't ever wear a helmet. Sometimes I wonder if we were just that crazy when I was a kid or if we've maybe lost a little bit with this overprotective attitude lately. Not sure.
Action's latest quest... (hopefully no more medical incidents to come)
Yep, he's smiling!
Considering our homestudy is complete, I guess I can confess we sometimes do let the small stuff go... The mother of the friend whose house the trampoline incident was at spewed apologetically about it. We laughed it off and didn't even call a lawyer. Imagine.
I guess here's the bottom line. Our kids run and skin their knees. They run barefoot and they climb trees. They ride bikes in the street and the older ones don't ever wear a helmet. Sometimes I wonder if we were just that crazy when I was a kid or if we've maybe lost a little bit with this overprotective attitude lately. Not sure.
Action's latest quest... (hopefully no more medical incidents to come)
Yep, he's smiling!
Monday, June 08, 2009
They are ON the charts!!!
Woo hoooo!!!
So the twins are now officially on the US growth charts. Kume is now between the 5th and 10th percentile and Jambo is at the 25th percentile. This is really great growth, since they were both FAR below even the bottom of the growth chart just a year ago. Thank God for chock-full-o-growth-hormones milk (oh, please, I am all about healthy, but if the milk can give a little boost, I won't complain).
Oh, and we really do have plenty of beds for sleeping, but our sweet little Kume prefers to snuggle up to whomever will tolerate her for the night.
Here is a picture of our Ethiopian giants :)
* the twins laugh hysterically at this picture *
Just had to add this one. Farmboy is hopeful we (the Red Wings) will win the Stanley Cup this year. We are awfully close.
So the twins are now officially on the US growth charts. Kume is now between the 5th and 10th percentile and Jambo is at the 25th percentile. This is really great growth, since they were both FAR below even the bottom of the growth chart just a year ago. Thank God for chock-full-o-growth-hormones milk (oh, please, I am all about healthy, but if the milk can give a little boost, I won't complain).
Oh, and we really do have plenty of beds for sleeping, but our sweet little Kume prefers to snuggle up to whomever will tolerate her for the night.
Here is a picture of our Ethiopian giants :)
* the twins laugh hysterically at this picture *
Just had to add this one. Farmboy is hopeful we (the Red Wings) will win the Stanley Cup this year. We are awfully close.
Wednesday, June 03, 2009
Okay I have arrived. I have descended on the place where reading blogs is painful, where glancing through others' time lines brings discouragement and (yes, I have to admit it) jealousy. Where hearing about court dates and packing and shopping and travel gives me the sensation in my stomach that I swallowed a lead-filled baseball. I don't want to be this way.
I am thrilled in my brain for the families that are uniting. I trust in God's goodness and His sovereignty and His involvement of setting these children into our families. And a part of my heart is also thrilled, also excited, actually overjoyed that these children WILL NO LONGER BE ORPHANS!!! But that thrill is definitely tempered with my own ache.
Yes, others have been waiting longer. Some, MUCH longer. We all have our own stories, and I do trust that this waiting is not wasted. That God is working here. But, sometimes it is just plain hard, and possibly by writing these thoughts down, this may act as some sort of valve that opens, and drains some of the ache for a while. We will see.
So, little one, we first learned of you August 14, 2008. At first the thought of adding another to our family so soon was daunting, now the very slim prospect of possibly losing you before you come home is immensely more daunting (yes, I know that this possibility is EXTREMELY remote, but HIV+ children obviously do have compromised immune systems). Interesting how God works on hearts. These months have worked to cement you deeply into ours.
As I ponder the documentation still needed for the courts, the new TB requirements which will add 2-4 months on our wait after court, and my own powerlessness in this situation, these words struck a chord in my spirit.
He will not judge by what he sees with his eyes, or decide by what he hears with his ears; but with righteousness he will judge the needy, with justice he will give decisions for the poor of the earth. Isaiah 11: 3-4.
Thank God He is just and His plans cannot ultimately be thwarted. Ever.
I feel a bit like I bet the psalmist David must have felt. I feel more hopeful now and less discouraged after penning these thoughts. Hmmmm, I may have to do this more often.
I am thrilled in my brain for the families that are uniting. I trust in God's goodness and His sovereignty and His involvement of setting these children into our families. And a part of my heart is also thrilled, also excited, actually overjoyed that these children WILL NO LONGER BE ORPHANS!!! But that thrill is definitely tempered with my own ache.
Yes, others have been waiting longer. Some, MUCH longer. We all have our own stories, and I do trust that this waiting is not wasted. That God is working here. But, sometimes it is just plain hard, and possibly by writing these thoughts down, this may act as some sort of valve that opens, and drains some of the ache for a while. We will see.
So, little one, we first learned of you August 14, 2008. At first the thought of adding another to our family so soon was daunting, now the very slim prospect of possibly losing you before you come home is immensely more daunting (yes, I know that this possibility is EXTREMELY remote, but HIV+ children obviously do have compromised immune systems). Interesting how God works on hearts. These months have worked to cement you deeply into ours.
As I ponder the documentation still needed for the courts, the new TB requirements which will add 2-4 months on our wait after court, and my own powerlessness in this situation, these words struck a chord in my spirit.
He will not judge by what he sees with his eyes, or decide by what he hears with his ears; but with righteousness he will judge the needy, with justice he will give decisions for the poor of the earth. Isaiah 11: 3-4.
Thank God He is just and His plans cannot ultimately be thwarted. Ever.
I feel a bit like I bet the psalmist David must have felt. I feel more hopeful now and less discouraged after penning these thoughts. Hmmmm, I may have to do this more often.
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